What To Say (and Not Say) At a Funeral

Funeral etiquette may be confusing for some. That is normal.

Many people aren’t sure how to express their condolences or offer appropriate sympathy. Even if you’re a very social person, it can be challenging to find the right words or actions to present to someone during their time of grief. There are, however, some ways to navigate common sayings at a funeral, which could help you better understand what to say and not say.

• Don’t say “I know how you feel.” This comes up often, but it’s wrong to say because you do not know how the person feels, even if you’ve experienced a loss yourself. Everyone’s grief is unique.
• Do say “I am sorry.” This isn’t dismissive or cliché. You aresorry for their loss. It’s okay not to know what to say. Just expressing sorrow and concern is being supportive.
• Don’t say “Let me know if you need anything.” The intentions may be good with this phrase, but someone is already grieving. Telling them to let you know what they need at that time can feel like another task on their list and actually add to their difficult time.
• Do say “I’ll reach out soon.” Once things have settled down, it’s good to reach out and plan something, help with a project, or just spend time together and talk.
• Don’t say “Be strong.” You might be trying to encourage someone with a statement like this, but it can subtly come across as telling that person what to do, which might create additional tension.
• Do say “Take your time.” It is genuine, supportive and a nice reminder to the person(s) that you’ll give them time and space to express how they feel and navigate grief in their own way. And they can contact you when ready, if needed.

For more information, please visit thejonesfh.com, or call us at 815-288-2241.

Jones Funeral Home

204 S Ottawa Ave

Dixon, IL 61021