Lagattolla: A chance to bowl a strike for Quincee

When Blythe Miller was looking to put together an event in honor of her daughter, she said she knew she didn't want the gathering to be somber.

Miller said she has been grieving for more than six months, since October, when she lost her 15-year-old daughter, Quincee Ariel Barnes-Miller, to suicide. The months since have been rough but she said there has been strong support from the community and from her daughter's friends.

And so tonight's event – Bowl a Strike for Quincee – will be set at Funway Entertainment Center in Batavia. The event runs from 6-8 p.m.

"We've been through such a rough time that it's going to be something hard to have," Miller said. "So why not make it as fun as possible, to try to take away the bad from it?"

The event is a fundraiser, to help Blythe Miller cover the cost of her daughter's burial, as well as the cost of the headstone. Also, she said, the event will benefit Suicide Prevention Services in Batavia. The cost is $10, which includes entrance to Funway, a game of bowling and shoes. Funway is at 1335 S. River St., Batavia. In addition, there will be raffles for items that have been donated.

Besides that, Miller said, she wants to spend time with those who have supported her. She wants to raise awareness because "six months ago, I thought it wouldn't happen to me."

"I think we also need something to bring everyone together," she said. "Six months ago, I was in a daze. I was in a fog. But I want to see her friends. I want to see the community that helped me. I think this is a good way to do it."

She said she waited to have the event because she didn't want it to be based on her emotions, and she said she needed time to grieve. She talked about trying to make something positive of a negative experience, about the power of a community, about how she felt and how she knows others in her situation must feel.

"It's very scary," she said. "And you want … as the parent of a kid who did it, you want no other parent to go through it. I don't want any other parent to feel this sadness, ever, in their lives. That's basically my biggest thing."

That, she said, and the idea that her daughter's death can have an impact on others.

"I can't let this be for nothing," she said. "That's for sure."

• Al Lagattolla is the news editor of the Kane County Chronicle. Write to him at alagattolla@kcchronicle.com.