3 things to not say when someone loses a loved one

When someone is grieving, there is no perfect thing to say, but there are some things you should avoid when someone loses a loved one.

One of the reasons why people are so uncomfortable at a wake or funeral is because they’re not sure about what to do or say. While death may be an extremely uncomfortable topic, the worst thing you can do is ignore it when it occurs in the family of a friend or colleague. Doing nothing, or pretending it didn’t happen, is not good etiquette.

Here are 3 things to avoid saying when someone is grieving.

1. Avoid cliches.

Phrases like “they’re in a better place” can de-emphasize the pain they are feeling in the moment. You should also avoid making spiritual or religious references unless you know those sentiments will be well received.

Instead, acknowledge their pain and focus on the person who is grieving by stating “I’m sorry you’re suffering.”

2. State that you know how they feel.

Grief is a personal experience and you’re never truly able to understand how someone experiences a loss. Instead, tell them you can imagine how they’re feeling and offer support and a chance for them to tell you what they’re going through.

3. Avoid saying nothing at all.

Many people hesitate to reach out to someone in mourning because they’re uncomfortable or don’t know what to say. One of the most helpful things you can do for someone who has lost a loved one is to share a memory and recall a happier time together.

Whether you express sympathy via a visit, call, or card, your choice of words is important. It is appropriate and kind to let the family know how much you will miss the deceased, how dear he was, how she made the world a better place, or what an inspiration he was.

Tezak’s Home to Celebrate Life: 1211 Plainfield Rd., Joliet, IL 60435, 815-722-0524. www.tezakfuneralhome.com