The pandemic was a lonely time for kids

Editor’s note: This is the second in a series that looks at the effects of the pandemic on youth. Read Part 1 here.

During the summer of 2021, parents gathered on social media nationwide and before school boards to share their concerns, on either side, of the face mask issue and to discuss how the pandemic affected their children.

American Academy of Pediatrics, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and Children’s Hospital Association even jointly declared a national emergency in child and adolescent mental health in October 2021.

While every family’s experience was different, it appears few families escaped the pandemic completely unscathed. Children were sometimes confused and troubled. But they just as often were resilient facing the loneliness of lost school days without their friends.

Loneliness might be a difficult concept to quantify, but these Will County families knew the reality. The pandemic took something valuable from all of them. They share their stories.

‘We are all about positivity’

Amber Ruland of Plainfield has four children: Brayden (19), Micah (15), Ella (13) and Emerson (10).

At the start of pandemic, Ruland was home-schooling two children. Another had just started public high school, and the eldest was a junior in high school, she said.

“They all had unique experiences, even though they had the same experience, if that makes sense,” Ruland said.

Ruland said her junior, Brayden, never “stepped foot” in a school for his senior year – although he took online classes at Joliet Junior College that cemented his school goals.

Because of remote learning, he shunned online classes in college – until COVID-19 cases rose, again, and his classes went hybrid, Ruland said.

So now Ruland said her eldest has the attitude of, “Ok, what can I control?”

[ Click here to read Part 1: COVID-19 didn't leave kids unscathed ]

Ruland said her second child attended part of seventh grade before remote learning and adapted well. He missed the “social stuff” but found friends through online gaming, even though Ruland’s kids were never “big on online gaming,” she said.

Her third child was home-schooled through the pandemic and started in-person learning during the 2021-2022 school year, she said. That child participated in cross country, cheerleading, basketball, track, student council and the school play.

“She jumped in 100% in everything that school had to offer,” Ruland said.

She added that, “running in masks is a very difficult thing to do,” but that “they’ve made the best of it” because her kids wanted to play sports.

Finally, Ruland’s youngest child is still home-schooled but he happily played soccer and participated in activities of a home-school co-op.

“We are all about positivity,” Ruland said. “We’re taking whatever we can and making the best of it.”

But a positive attitude didn’t make the struggle better for every child.

The pandemic stole ‘joy of learning’

LeAnn Ryan of Joliet said one of her children lost the bulk of in-person high school experiences due to COVID-19: half of freshman year, all of sophomore year, most of junior year and her sports participation.

And these losses had an effect.

“She started wanting to sleep a lot,” Ryan said.

Sophomore year was an isolating blur of “six to seven hours” on Zoom, Ryan said.

“There was no student interaction,” Ryan said. “It was just the teacher teaching to the best of her ability in that environment.”

Ryan said her daughter started the 2021-2022 school year two weeks late because a teammate exposed her to COVID-19. And her daughter, who had some Advanced Placement classes, was completely overwhelmed at her inability to catch up, she said.

“One or two teachers tried to help her,” Ryan said. “A couple just didn’t care.”

Ryan’s daughter struggled and eventually was placed on homebound school.

Because she was on homebound school, she didn’t finish cross country, a sport she’s played since the sixth grade – and she missed track altogether, Ryan said. She was angry at missing the socialization, dances and football games.

“It was just awful for her,” Ryan said.

Ryan said her daughter experienced anxiety and depression related to school and wearing masks. She also struggled to breathe through the mask while playing volleyball and other sports. Some students didn’t wear them properly, causing division, Ryan said.

Ryan said whenever she brought up “the whole face mask thing” at school board meetings, the official attitude seemed to be “it is what is” and “we’re just dealing with what we have,” Ryan said.

“So how did the pandemic affect kids?” Ryan said. “It stole their joy of learning.”

No Disney World, Chuckie Cheese or school

Holly Magaña of Joliet said her two children’s experience with COVID-19 initially was about protecting their grandparents. Still, the now 6-year-old twins, Isabella and Jesse, couldn’t understand why they had to stay on the sidewalk when visiting them.

Then came the losses.

Their trip to Disney World in Orlando was canceled. They saw commercials for Chuckie Cheese but couldn’t go.

Villaseca Josephine Center, a nonprofit that offers daycare and kindergarten in Joliet, closed after several months. The had attended the center since they were 15 months old.

They missed their friends and went few places, not even the store, Magaña said.

“We were proactive in case the school reopened,” she said.

Villaseca reopened in July 2020, which also confused the kids because the school normally closes in July, she said.

However, Isabella and Jesse were accepting of face masks when the world reopened. Isabella loved wearing her “Frozen” masks from the Disney movie with her “Frozen” shirt, and Jesse felt the same about Star Wars, she said.

“Even when they went back to school, they never complained [about wearing a mask or had any issues keeping them on],” she said.

Then cases went down and masks went off – until cases spiked and masks returned.

“That was hard for them,” Magaña said, later adding, “We’ll go to places where you don’t need them anymore, and Isabella will still pull hers out and put it on.”

Face masks also made learning to read difficult, Magaña said.

“They always had to wear the masks, and the teachers always wore the masks; so they struggled a little bit,” Magaña said. “They seem to be doing very well now.”

The family also made it to Disney World in January.