What does Alzheimer’s disease look like to you? Perhaps you, like many people, get a picture of someone who is frail and has a distant look in their eyes. Or maybe you think about those commercials where Alzheimer’s patients are portrayed as angry and combative.

Although both of those pictures can be true, they fail to convey the progression of the disease, which can start years before diagnosis.

When my dear husband, Tony, was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 2015, his main symptom was a problem with his short-term memory. You could tell him something, he’d look like he understood and then he’d forget what you said a moment later. Not surprisingly, this led to him having to retire early.

As the years have gone by, we’ve undergone many changes. Tony no longer speaks in full sentences, though fully formed words do come out, some of which are not for pristine ears. Apparently, swear words are stored in a part of Tony’s brain that has not been harmed by the disease.

What he is not is frail. In fact, he’s so strong that I have a hard time getting him to do things that he doesn’t want to do, even when they are the very things that he really should do.

Also unaffected is his stamina level. He can and does walk rings around me on a regular basis. Happily, though, he does it inside the house and doesn’t take his wanderings outside without me.

I was reminded of all this last week when we were having some work done on the house. Although we have done many projects over the years, we had not addressed the old flooring in our hallway and kitchen.

I’ve had a lot of time to think about why that happened and the best I could come up with is this: We were busy doing other things.

When Tony was healthy, we spent time together and we went places. When we did projects around the house, they were important ones, such as replacing the roof or furnace. The cosmetic things, well, just didn’t get done.

In hindsight, I can’t be mad about it. We made memories while we could. Now that I’m essentially stuck in our house all the time, I have more time to ponder the cosmetic things.

Of course, over time, things go from cosmetic eyesores to real problems. When our floors were starting to be a trip hazard for Tony, it was time to act.

With anything these days, Tony’s Alzheimer’s disease must be factored into the equation. This project was going to take three days, so if needed, I could take Tony elsewhere.

As it turned out, we spent the whole time at home. Trying to keep Tony out of the way of our contractor was, to put it mildly, a challenge.

The first day, Tony did well in staying out of the way. The second day, however, he insisted on seeing what was going on. I tried to keep him in the office with me, but he kept going to the door to try to get out. It was more than a little stressful.

The third day, I decided that I’d just walk around with Tony and make sure that we didn’t go where the work was happening.

Round and round the house we walked. It’s one thing to know the route Tony usually takes; it’s another to actually do it with him. I’d get him to sit for a second or two, but then he’d pop right back up again and start anew.

By the end of the day, I was gassed, and my legs hurt more than I’d like to admit.

I suppose I should have realized that I just don’t have the stamina that I used to. After all, I’ve battled breast cancer twice since 2019 and the medication I’ve been on has done a number on my leg muscles and ability to walk.

Still, I did what had to be done. And I’ve been amazed at how strong and able my husband continues to be, even a decade into this disease. I know that won’t always be the case. Eventually, he will be the frail person with Alzheimer’s disease.

In the meantime, though, I need to work on my own strength and conditioning. If for no other reason than to keep up.

• Joan Oliver is the former Northwest Herald assistant news editor. She has been associated with the Northwest Herald since 1990. She can be reached at jolivercolumn@gmail.com.