Oliver: Feeling overwhelmed? These tips aim to address the stress for caregivers

April is National Stress Awareness Month. Those of us who are caregivers probably don’t need a national observance to be made aware of our stress.

However, we do need to be aware that long-term stress can be detrimental to our health. If we aren’t functioning well, we probably aren’t caregiving well, either.

Dealing with the needs of someone who can’t take care of himself, on top of trying to run a household, hold down a job and care for one’s own self can be exhausting. That feeling of being in over one’s head can’t be something that only I feel. That’s not even adding in the emotional weight of losing my spouse and best friend bit by bit to Alzheimer’s disease.

Of course, the danger of trying to ignore the feeling until it goes away is obvious.

The Alzheimer’s Foundation of America offers caregivers these six steps to manage and reduce stress. They also apply for caregivers of those who are dealing with something other than dementia.

Be adaptable and positive. Your attitude influences the stress levels of both you and the person for whom you are caring. If you can “go with the flow,” that will help you both stay relaxed. Conversely, if you become aggravated or agitated, the chances will increase that your person will as well. Focus on how to adjust to the situation in a constructive way.

Deal with what you can control. Some things are totally out of your control. What you can control is how you respond and react to those outside factors. Concentrating on finding solutions can help make the problem itself a little less stressful.

Set realistic goals and go slow. Everything can’t be resolved at once, nor does it need to be. Don’t hold yourself to unrealistic standards. Prioritize, set practical goals, do your best to achieve them and take things one day at a time.

Mind your health. Inadequate rest, poor diet and lack of exercise can exacerbate stress, as well as cause other health problems. As best you can, make it a priority to get enough sleep, eat right, drink plenty of water and find ways to be active. You can’t provide quality care to a loved one if you don’t take care of yourself.

Clear and refresh your mind. Exercise, yoga, meditating, listening to music or even taking a few deep breaths can help relax the mind and reduce stress. Find something that works for you and do it regularly.

Share your feelings. Disconnecting from your support structure and staying bottled-up increases stress. Whether it’s a loved one, trusted friend or a professional, don’t be reluctant to talk about your stress because that actually can help to relieve it.

The Alzheimer’s Foundation of America has a helpline that is available seven days a week to provide information and support regarding caregiver stress and other caregiving questions. Connect with a licensed social worker by calling 866-232-8484 or sending a text message to 646-586-5283.

Happily, I’m already doing a lot of these things because they do help.

Staying positive can be a challenge, particularly when Tony is having a tough morning, but giving in to my own aggravation and irritation really does make things worse. Instead, I look for what might be causing Tony to act up and address that. Often, that helps turn things around.

Having someone to talk to about the challenges of caregiving is invaluable. However, it’s not always easy to admit that I don’t have it all together all the time. I suppose that falls to the point about not having unrealistic expectations. Still, I don’t know what I’d do without my friend Carol, who listens to me on my darkest days.

When all else fails, I remind myself that I probably need a nap. Things always seem to be a little bit better after I get some rest.

Dealing with stress, no matter what our situation, often is an ongoing work in progress. But it’s one that’s worth the effort. It’s also essential.

• Joan Oliver is the former Northwest Herald assistant news editor. She has been associated with the Northwest Herald since 1990. She can be reached at jolivercolumn@gmail.com.