As parents know, back-to-school season can be stressful, even as a lot of parents are happy to send their children back to the classroom. There are many details to keep track of, supplies to buy and schedules to coordinate.

Now add an additional level of stress: When one is a caregiver for one’s elderly parent, it can make a caregiver feel caught in the middle. That phenomenon has been termed “the sandwich generation.”

Since I never had children, I haven’t experienced that. However, I was caring for my mother with dementia when my husband was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. That was enough.

When one is caring for both a parent and children, sometimes it’s not even done under the same roof. Sometimes it’s trying to manage care from another town or even another state.

National surveys estimate there are 11 million sandwich generation caregivers in the U.S., including about 2.2 million caring for someone with Alzheimer’s. With baby boomers living longer and more families facing dementia, this number is expected to grow, according to the Alzheimer’s Association.

The dual role takes a toll. Of the more than 11 million unpaid Alzheimer’s caregivers nationwide and 266,500 in Illinois alone, about one-third report declining health due to caregiving, while more than half say their work life is affected by tardiness or absences, according to the Alzheimer’s Association. Many are forced to scale back at work, while children in the home often assume added responsibilities.

“Caregiving, particularly when you are caring for a loved one with dementia and children at home, can be overwhelming,” Delia Jervier, executive director of the Alzheimer’s Association Illinois Chapter, said in a news release. “It is important to know that high levels of stress can be harmful to all family members.”

Despite the challenges, experts say it is possible for sandwich generation caregivers to balance their responsibilities while protecting their own well-being. The Alzheimer’s Association offers these five tips:

• Take Care of Yourself: Caregivers often neglect their own health, but eating well, exercising and getting enough rest are essential. Even 30 minutes a day spent reading, exercising or relaxing can help reduce stress. The Alzheimer’s Association can help caregivers recognize and relieve stress.
• Maintain Good Communication: Feelings of guilt are common when caregiving duties interfere with family time. Talk openly with your spouse, children and loved ones about the demands you face and enlist their support. A 2017 Alzheimer’s Association survey found that 91% of Americans believe it “takes a village” to care for someone with Alzheimer’s, yet many caregivers hesitate to ask for help.
• Seek Support: The Alzheimer’s Association offers resources to ease caregiving, including adult day programs, in-home assistance and meal delivery. Caregivers can explore local options through the online Community Resource Finder and access training and free workshops through the Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregiver Center.
• Talk to Your Employer: Many companies now offer flexible schedules or telecommuting options. A 2023 AARP report found that 45% of employed caregivers reported such workplace accommodations. Discussing possible adjustments with your employer may help you balance work and caregiving demands.
• Know You’re Doing Your Best: Caregivers often feel guilt for not being able to “do it all.” Focus on priorities, delegate when possible and remind yourself that the care you provide makes a difference. For additional encouragement, join ALZConnected, the Alzheimer’s Association’s online caregiver community.

To learn more about Alzheimer’s disease, caregiving resources, and local support services, visit alz.org/Illinois or call the 24/7 Helpline at 800-272-3900.

If you know a caregiver who is part of the “sandwich generation,” don’t hesitate to offer some help. Maybe watch the children while the caregiver handles something for their parent. Or visit the parent so the caregiver can focus on their children. Or better yet, help the caregiver get some free time.

Goodness knows, those caregivers need our support. Let’s do what we can.

• Joan Oliver is the former Northwest Herald assistant news editor. She has been associated with the Northwest Herald since 1990. She can be reached at jolivercolumn@gmail.com.