Oliver: Cultivating gratitude may take a little effort, but happiness is the payoff

This is the time of year when a lot of us feel compelled to give thanks. We’re told to count our blessings and to reflect on the good in our lives.

Of course, it shouldn’t take a date on the calendar to produce feelings of gratitude. It should be something we practice every day.

Why? Because gratitude is the foundation of happiness. Grateful people are happy people.

How is that possible when so many things we face in life are downright depressing? Or when the world has a way of beating us down, whether it’s economically, physically, emotionally or mentally? How is it possible when we’re exhausted all the time just trying to get through the day?

Those are valid questions. The thing is, gratitude isn’t dependent upon perfect circumstances.

In fact, gratitude can help us get through the roughest of circumstances, providing us with a means to cope when life is less than ideal.

Webster’s New World College Dictionary defines “gratitude” as “a feeling of thankful appreciation for favors or benefits received; thankfulness.”

Notice that this isn’t a passive quality. We aren’t thankful just because we exist; it takes effort. First, we must look around and see the things that make us feel appreciative.

For a lot of us, that’s going to take some practice. Seeing the good can be hard when we’re stuck in a morass of negativity. But as far down as we may be, there’s always something that can bring us a sliver of happiness.

Maybe it’s something as simple as the way the sun shines through a window. Or how the leaves fall or rustle in the breeze. Maybe it’s a beloved pet who insists on licking your nose to wake you up. Or the laughter of a loved one.

These are the sorts of things that might always be around, but we don’t always take the time to acknowledge them. Once we pay attention, it’s not a stretch until we’re feeling thankful for them.

Thankful people also reach out and express their gratitude to others. Giving in this way just reinforces the good feeling of the appreciation that sparked it.

Making a point to thank people for the good things they do for us is a way to cultivate appreciation. When was the last time you truly thanked someone who opened a door for you? Or made it a point to thank the checkout person who maybe wasn’t super friendly from the get-go? Again, the appreciation we feel isn’t dependent on someone else; it comes from within ourselves. And it can be cultivated.

The folks at the University of California-Berkeley have a center for studying the psychology of qualities like gratitude. The Greater Good Science Center puts out the Greater Good Magazine, which aims to share their findings.

An article from a few years ago offered strategies for making gratitude a lasting habit. Among them was the suggestion of keeping track of three good things that happen each day, taking about five to 10 minutes to write them down and then describing why you think they happened. These can be big or small things, but the idea is to describe them in detail. Research shows that doing this for even a week can bring positive feelings that can last for six months.

Part of why this is so effective is that it makes people focus on the good right in from of them and gives them a means of remembering past good things.

Another strategy was to employ a little George Bailey thinking in one’s life. If you remember the plot of “It’s a Wonderful Life,” George was given a chance to see what the world would have been like without him in it. That helped him to appreciate all that he had.

We can think about what life would have been like if we hadn’t had some of the opportunities we received or we didn’t have some of the people we have in our lives. It’s called “mental subtraction” and one study found that a 15-minute writing exercise was enough to increase happiness and gratitude.

The point is, we must work at being grateful, but the benefits are greater happiness and feelings of thankfulness. If we work to share those feelings with others, that keeps the good going.

Let’s get to work.

• Joan Oliver is the former Northwest Herald assistant news editor. She has been associated with the Northwest Herald since 1990. She can be reached at jolivercolumn@gmail.com.