On the threshold of a new beginning, I have been taking a walk down memory lane this week.
As I sift through family photos from the 56 plus years of my parents’ marriage, I am reminded of my own soul’s incarnations through the years.
It begins early when I am 3 years old, with long blonde pony tails. My four siblings and I (the youngest wasn’t born yet) are lined up on couch in our very 1970s living room in assorted awkward poses. I am holding on to my baby brother for dear life. He DOES have a smile on his face, so I’m guessing he doesn’t mind, at least at the moment the picture was snapped.
It wouldn’t be long after that my mom made her life easier by cutting all that long blonde hair off, so my brothers and sister and I could all have “low maintenance” hair.
There are more pictures with siblings and cousins throughout my young adulthood, as well as pictures from other weddings. If these totes of photos say anything about our lives, it is that family matters.
The picture I found of my late father walking my sister down the aisle in 1998 is especially bittersweet. I sent it to her and told her how lucky she was to have him there physically. I trust he will be with me in spirit as I take that proverbial walk, but still ...
I haven’t looked at most of these pictures in decades, so when I look at myself, and my other family members at various stages in life, I am intrigued at how our life experiences are inscribed into our faces on a cellular level.
All of our experiences and corresponding emotions are recorded in our bodies. For better or for worse, they shape who we are, and who we become.
I believe we do have a great deal of leverage in how we age, simply by the way we handle everything life throws at us on a daily basis. We can decide how beautiful or haggard we are through our life choices and reactions to the good, the bad, and the ugly that inevitably appear to shake things up.
I have a photo of my grandmother a few years before she died, at a family dinner celebrating my parents’ wedding anniversary. When I look at this picture of Grandma smiling gently at the camera, complete with a lifetime of wrinkles chiseled by all the joys, sorrows and tragedies in her life, I see in her eyes true beauty. This beauty is not manufactured, but the kind that comes from living a simple lifestyle and handling every circumstance in her life through her deep, unwavering faith.
Looking at Grandma in this picture, and peering into her soft eyes, I not only see her beautiful soul; I also catch a glimpse her Creator dwelling inside of her.
On the other hand, I have known people who have not aged so gracefully. They have lived “rough” lives, and not made wise lifestyle choices. Surely many of those choices have been based on an attempt to escape difficult situations and emotions, only to have a snowball effect in making them angry, bitter and decrepit in their old age.
All of us respond to some life circumstances inappropriately, or without much grace. For some, this kind of response is rare. For others, it is a way of life. But at any moment until our final breath, we can choose to play whatever hand we are dealt with dignity, grace and faith in Something larger than ourselves.
My grandmother’s day-to-day circumstances were not always optimal, much less tolerable. Still, she persevered.
Somewhere in these piles of old pictures that surround me right now, the state of being I was in reflected anger and frustration that life wasn’t going my way. Grandma, in all her humility and grace, simply and gently told me “God never promised us a rose garden.”
And yet, another time she told me that whatever circumstances we are currently in, they will pass. That applies to the good times and the bad.
Of course, I have found this again and again to be true, as I am sure all of you reading this have too.
Nothing lasts forever.
Except that mysterious, ineffable, unique-for-each-of-us substance we are composed of, some call a ‘soul,” and the Great Soul from which we have come.
This week, take a moment to look back over your own life story and see how your soul has aged to this point.
Then, be honest with yourself about anything you might change to make it more beautiful, so that when you reach the twilight of your life, others can catch a glimpse of your Creator looking back at them through your eyes.
SPIRIT MATTERS is a weekly column that examines experiences common to the human spirit. Contact Jerrilyn Zavada at jzblue33@yahoo.com to share how you engage your spirit in your life and community.