Write Team: Shoes and me

I’ve just counted and I’m really floored, cause there – on my floor – are 23 pairs of shoes. Whose shoes? MY shoes! They just kind of walked into my life.

I’m not making a full list of them here – and maybe there are some still hiding under the bed – but let me just hit the high notes for you. I’ve got shoes for tennis only, shoes for running, shoes for hiking, shoes for gym workouts, shoes for the office, shoes for knocking around the backyard. And of course, loafers for loafing. Line them up: I got all kinds of shoes! Looks like a kid’s game, all piled together.

Do hockey skates count? Do cross-country ski shoes count?

My sister once knew a young woman whose chief reason for getting a department store job was just so she could get that good, deep, employee discount on her shoes. And so she had a hundred pairs and was happy. How many days are there in a year? Does the person who dies with the most shoes win?

I don’t know what to think. Is there some hidden, subversive psychology going on?

Some folks have feet fetishes. Not my bag. Some people are afraid of their feet. Show want to show them off. Some people think their feet look hideous and had better cussed well be covered with something!

Sartorially-speaking, shoes are the endpoint of pants and dresses and legs. The eyes stop there – boom – and linger a millisecond or two ... important visual stop-times when looking at a person ... and the look itself seems to ask for some resolution of the vertical line. Shoes can do it. And more than this, since they can bigly punctuate a style idea.

Pro tip for men: Stick to classic styles and expect to pay more for your shoes than women do. It’s brutal Darwinism at work. Shell the bucks to get the bucks.

Up until 10 years back I was using some excellent, Italian-made Vasque mountain boots that I bought when I was 16. So much history in that leather! They just don’t make them like that anymore. Thinking about a ceremonial burial in the backyard for them.

The oldest shoes I’ve got are some Bean camp mocs that I got 40 years ago. They still work, I think I had them resoled 10 years back. Good for running around the back yard. Buy good stuff and it lasts.

My wife cajoled me into Birkenstocks about three years ago. Advanced German engineering and they feel fantastic and look as ugly as squished worms.

So all these shoes? This big pile here? Well, I’m a barefoot guy at heart. I ran everywhere as a kid in the neighborhood, sans shoes and even today, in October, it’s great just feeling the grass underfoot. It’s beautiful, it’s free and it feels good. All those shoes can’t add up to that.

Todd Volker lives in Ottawa with his wife and son, and they enjoy reading, kayaking, hiking, tennis and camping. He’s a lifelong learner with books in his hands.