How do you get angry?

I’m not asking why. The question is how. What pattern works for you?

Let me explain my angry dance, which is predictable. What varies, of course, are the triggers. Those little things that pull the pin on some grenade tucked into my subconscious. Wait, it’s not that kind of explosion. I don’t toss fragile items across the room or smash a fist into the wall or kick the dog. In fact, the dog and my wife are the anger police in the house. (More on that later.)

Generally, I am alone when I vent, which involves more frustration than fury. But it does fill the room for a moment. And my process has a pattern. My burst of anger tends to involve more exhaling than inhaling, the spewing of a string of nasty verbiage, grinding teeth, and then adding some !!!

My word choices are a repeated combination of inherited profanity. I learned proper cussing many years ago, somehow, somewhere from various someones. I never concentrate on what I am saying. Habit controls that.

It’s a brief interruption, then I move on. Often, it’s evidence that I need to walk away from my computer and the evil keyboard. Yes, that was a hint. My mindless (not mindful) interludes tend to be linked to irritating moments when I cannot type a four-letter word without three errors. The wife and dog also have learned to distance themselves when I am putting something together using those mysteries called instructions.

The dog, Tucker, has keen ears. He feels my pain because within seconds, he is in the room, his big brown eyes staring at me. It’s pretty clear he wants me to calm down. My wife also has super hearing (and beautiful brown eyes), but saves her reaction for later.

“What was the problem?” she asks. “Why were you so upset?”

“The usual,” I say, or I just say nothing, knowing what comes next.

“I don’t like it. It bothers me.”

So I must figure out how to be angry but not express it. My anger process is often referred to as venting. Let the steam out, then move on. Not only do dog and wife not like it, but there are some experts now saying it’s not healthy. I actually thought it was healthy.

This info comes from an article by Russell McLendon for sciencealert.com. He shares research at Ohio State University that analyzed 154 studies on anger. The study was detailed in a 2024 review authored in part by communication scientist Brad Bushman.

“I think it’s really important to bust the myth that if you’re angry you should blow off steam – get it off your chest,” Bushman said. “Venting anger might sound like a good idea, but there’s not a shred of scientific evidence to support catharsis theory.

“Certain physical activities that increase arousal may be good for your heart, but they’re definitely not the best way to reduce anger. It’s really a battle because angry people want to vent, but our research shows that any good feeling we get from venting actually reinforces aggression.”

So arousal needs to be reduced, not increased. Vigorous exercise or jogging, for example, can increase arousal, while deep-breathing, meditating and yoga do the opposite.

So it’s wise to avoid the vent. I didn’t bother to read the related article. The headline was enough: “Angry outbursts could literally be putting some people’s heart at risk.”

Yes, I must review my anger process. I could stop calling it venting. In some ways, it is relaxing, like meditating … out loud. But there’s still my tone and sentence structure to deal with.

This won’t be easy. I don’t carry a yoga mat with me. It always comes down to the age-old advice: “Just relax. Count to 10.” Stuff like that.

This is something my wife has known for a long time. What I don’t understand is how the dog knows.

• Lonny Cain, retired managing editor of The Times in Ottawa, also was a reporter for The Herald-News in Joliet in the 1970s. His PaperWork email is lonnyjcain@gmail.com. Or mail the NewsTribune, 426 Second St., La Salle IL 61301.