Sharing his story: St. Charles man tells of trying to restart life after prison

ST. CHARLES – When Ryan Harnish first visited the Blue Goose Market after being released from Shawnee Correctional Center downstate, he felt like his forehead bore a sign telling everyone where he had been.

Now, the 28-year-old St. Charles resident willingly shares the story about his adolescent struggles with drugs and the drunken driving convictions that landed him in jail as an adult.

The idea to speak to middle and high school students came from a retired school administrator. Harnish said he was doubtful his story had worth.

"Tell them what?" he recalled saying. "My life stinks."

The educator replied, "but that's what you have to tell them."

Harnish accepted, having few other options. Because he is no longer allowed to drive, he could not return to his job as a funeral director, a role that requires driving. Nor could he get hired elsewhere, including hotels, convenience stores and gyms. Even the military would not take him.

"I'm my own victim," he said.

His struggles began with his parents' divorce, he said. He didn't handle it well and began doing and selling drugs. The high school expelled him when he got caught selling LSD, he said.

He attended Missouri Military Academy in Mexico, Mo., for two years and, reformed, returned to St. Charles for his senior year, he said. He continued his education at Worsham College of Mortuary Science in Wheeling.

At age 20, Harnish was charged twice with drunken driving in the same week. His lawyer helped stall legal consequences, but the law caught up with him after his fifth conviction, he said.

By then, he was father to Damian, a boy just old enough to say da-da, Harnish said. His last sight of home before going to prison was of Damian facing him with outstretched arms – a memory that, he said, still chokes him up.

"I left my kid crying for me on the floor," Harnish said.

Harnish was released on Oct. 28, 2008, with the fear he would throw it all away again, he said.

Holding Damian, he asked his parole officer what would stop him from returning to his former lifestyle.

She said, "I think you're holding your reason."

Harnish readjusted to life outside prison despite, he said, feeling behind the curve when he once mistook an iPod for a cell phone.

One day at the gym, Harnish reconnected with C.J. Morgan, a former classmate and president of the St. Charles Breakfast Rotary Club. Morgan invited him to speak to the group.

Morgan said the members were moved by his story and thought Harnish would have a bright future as long as he stayed on track. Now a Rotary member, Harnish attends every meeting and continues to ask how he can contribute, Morgan said.

Harnish is preparing to open a tattoo parlor just east of Randall Road at 2045 Route 38 on May 1. He said he pursued that career because of his love of art and lack of options.

Rotarians have offered Harnish their support, such as advising him on loans and reviewing his business plan, Morgan said.

"He's in this unfortunate position he got himself into and is trying to get himself out," Morgan said. "You want him to succeed. You're excited for him to succeed."