Oliver: These tips can help take stress out of gatherings for those with dementia

Most of us will admit that we are creatures of habit. We like our routines and feel safe and secure when we know where we are and what we’re doing.

Routines and structure become even more important for those who are dealing with cognitive conditions like dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

One reason is because routines help stave off loss of function. For instance, some days my husband, who has early onset Alzheimer’s, can brush his teeth. Other days, he looks at me as if he’s never seen a toothbrush before. The next night, he’s fine again.

Routines keep Tony able to do things for himself. They also give him a measure of confidence. He knows his own home and can function somewhat independently. Take him out of his element, and he becomes lost and overwhelmed.

So, it’s not surprising that this time of year can be really challenging for the millions of people living with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease, according to the Alzheimer’s Association.

“Changes in the daily routine, large gatherings and noisy environments – all holiday hallmarks – can create extra anxiety for someone living with Alzheimer’s and other dementias,” said Delia Jervier, executive director for the Alzheimer’s Association Illinois Chapter. “Someone living with Alzheimer’s may also feel a special sense of loss during the holidays because of the changes he or she has experienced. It is important to plan ahead and keep your loved one in mind.”

To help families navigate holiday-related challenges, the Alzheimer’s Association offers these tips:

Familiarize others with the situation: The holidays are full of emotions, so it can help to let friends and family members know what to expect. Cross talk or simultaneous conversations can be challenging for people living with Alzheimer’s, so try engaging them one-on-one or in smaller group settings.

Build on traditions and memories: Take time to experiment with new traditions that might be less stressful or a better fit with your caregiving responsibilities. If evening confusion and agitation are a problem, turn your holiday dinner into a holiday lunch or brunch.

Involve the person living with Alzheimer’s: Depending on abilities and preferences, make sure to keep the person with Alzheimer’s involved in the celebrations, such as packing cookies in tins or helping wrap gifts.

Plan: When attending a holiday party, prepare the host for special needs, such as a quiet room for the person to rest when they get tired, away from the noise and distractions.

Adapt gift giving to ensure safe and useful gifts: Diminishing capacity may make some gifts unusable or even dangerous to a person with dementia. If someone asks for gift ideas, suggest items people living with the disease can easily enjoy, such as comfortable clothing, favorite music, videos and photo albums.

More holiday tips can be found by visiting the Alzheimer’s Association website at alz.org. The Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 help line also provides reliable information and support to all those who need assistance. Call the toll-free help line anytime, even holidays, at 800-272-3900.

These tips can help caregivers and those experiencing dementia no matter what time of year it is. After all, families gather and parties happen for any number of reasons throughout the year.

Taking Tony to any kind of function can be stressful not only for him, but for me too. Instead of enjoying myself, I often find I’m on high alert and worry about making sure Tony is safe and entertained.

If you include and consider the needs of those with special challenges, everyone can have a good time. And caregivers will thank you.

• Joan Oliver is the former Northwest Herald assistant news editor. She has been associated with the Northwest Herald since 1990. She can be reached at jolivercolumn@gmail.com.