Finally at rest: Unclaimed soldier’s ashes to be buried Monday in Kankakee

KANKAKEE – According to those who saw the death certificate, the first line explained the cause of death: Failure to thrive.

Not cancer. Not a heart attack. Not a blood disorder. Not an accident.

And then shortly thereafter, the body of John Kirnbauer, born in Chicago on April 3, 1953, and who died March 25, 2020, was cremated.

His ashes were placed in an urn.

The ashes, of the man who had lived the final two years of his life at the Gilman Healthcare Center in Iroquois County, were held as the home waited for someone to collect the remains.

One year turned into two. Two became three. Three was followed by four. Soon it was five.

No one came. No one called. No one sent an email.

It was as if the late 66-year-old had just appeared on the face of the earth.

No family. No relatives. No friends. No one ever came to claim the ashes, to check on him, to simply say “Hi.”

“We don’t know much. We simply don’t know a lot,” said Karen Smietanski, the assistant superintendent at the Veterans Assistance Commission of Kankakee County. “It’s very sad.”

It wasn’t until a storage facility at the nursing home was being cleaned and the urn was discovered. It was about to be discarded, tossed in the trash.

It was then a telephone call was placed to the Kankakee Memorial Gardens cemetery along Illinois Route 17 just outside of the Kankakee city limits.

The call was answered by Ashlee Schroeder, an employee at the cemetery. The caller asked if there was anything she could do to help, any way these remains of a man believed to be a U.S. Army veteran from the Vietnam War could be properly laid to rest?

Only minutes into the telephone call, Schroeder knew something had to be done. A resting place had to be given to this forgotten man.

“I have a special place in my heart for veterans,” Schroeder said. “When I got the call, I took it emotionally. I don’t have an answer as to why.”

While she couldn’t answer why this call reached her so deeply, she did have one answer in her mind: This man deserved a proper burial.

“He should not be discarded like yesterday’s trash,” she said.

The exact details regarding his military service at this point are unknown.

Smietanski is working with the US Department of Veterans Affairs to gain as much information as possible. She can’t even say with exact certainty that Kirnbauer was a veteran.

It appears he was, however. She did note the VA has him on file. She is hopeful an Army discharge document will provide some information, some clarity.

“His service history is currently a big blank,” she said.

“Every one of my veterans means a lot to me. They really do,” she said. “I want to know about him.”

‘Let’s do something’

Schroeder contacted her boss, Memorial Gardens’ part owner Tom Battista, of Wood Dale. She explained the situation. She wanted to help. She wanted to have Kirnbauer laid to rest within the area of cemetery dedicated to veterans.

Battista instantly agreed.

“I said, ‘Let’s do something,’ ” he said. The wheels were set in motion.

Having only learned of this situation on April 17, the cemetery staff wondered if he could be laid to rest on Memorial Day.

“Let’s not do this in silence,” he said. “Let the military honor their brother. Let’s give him a dignified send off. It came together. This is the right thing to do.”

The response from Battista was the answer Schroeder had sought.

“It’s bad enough to die alone,” she said.

But she said he did not deserve to be buried in that same fashion.

“He does have family,” Schroeder said. “It’s the local veterans. They will honor one of their own. This is going to be a great day.”

The burial service is set for 9:30 a.m. Monday, Memorial Day, at the cemetery, 15 Lowe Road, Kankakee. The public is invited. More specifically, both Schroeder and Smietanski said, they want the public to attend in great numbers.

The want to see this man laid to rest, during what they believe will be a 15-20 minute ceremony, surrounded by people.

Failure to thrive

So what does “failure to thrive” mean?

Iroquois County coroner Bill Cheatum said it is a cause of death which basically means the person has given up. The person has in large part stopped eating and drinking.

“They are tired of living,” Cheatum said. “They want to die.”

The burial cost, which would be about $3,000 and will be in the Memorial Gardens’ Field of Honor, an area set aside for military veterans, will be picked up by the cemetery.

Normally the Memorial Day service at the cemetery attracts a crowd of 100. Schroeder is hoping for greater numbers.

“He was absolutely alone. He deserved more than being discarded. He deserves more than that,” Schroeder said.

Jason Diaz, a board member with Project Headspace and Timing, an organization devoted to providing positive mental health support to veterans, could not have praised Schroeder’s efforts more strongly.

“Ashlee could have easily said pitch the ashes,” he said. “But she said that is not right. She got the ball rolling. ... It’s a happy ending.”