It’s been 10 years, and I have to decide whether to get a divorce or renew my vows.
I admit it – I’ve been looking at others online, and sometimes find myself turning my head when I’m out and about.
But I’ve grown so comfortable with things as they are, and we’ve been through so much together that I’m almost afraid to try something new. Besides, breaking up is certain to cost me hundreds of dollars a month.
Maybe it’s better if we just stay together awhile longer, for the kids. But if things keep breaking down, I’m not sure if that’s good for anybody.
I remember our first day together. It was June 2005, a couple of months after the birth of my first daughter. So many things were changing in my life. I was out while my wife was home with the baby.
Even before the baby came, I’d been thinking about making a change. My Hyundai Elantra with the five-speed stick was a good first car, but it wasn’t ideal for getting a child seat in and out of the backseat.
I’d studied up and settled on a Toyota Highlander. My wife, Kate, had decided that it had to be a particular shade of blue.
After stopping at three dealerships, my dad and I found the right car. It was an all-day affair, but with dad and I running the “nice-buyer, mean-buyer” routine, we were able to get what we thought was a solid deal: $24,500 for a model with a V-6 engine and that blue stone metallic paint.
I said I’d keep it 10 years, and I have. But I’ve long been able to live very near where I work, and as a result, there are only about 108,000 miles on it.
We’ve been through a lot together in those 108,000 miles. The Highlander has taken me to South Dakota, Minnesota and countless trips to see Kate’s family in Wisconsin. I’ve sat in traffic in it for hours, on and off the brake as I plodded through traffic to reach assignments at Blackhawks, Bears, Cubs and White Sox games.
The back seat in particular has taken a beating. Countless Goldfish crackers, Dum-Dum pops, raisins and fruit snacks have missed little mouths and been smashed down or crushed to bits. It appears there was a chewing gum incident, too.
I can see a pink, leopard-print infant’s winter jacket peeking out from under the passenger seat, where it’s resided for months. I know I should pull it out of there, but the time never seems right, and I’m afraid what else I might find.
Driving a 10-year-old car is a little like going back in time – a reminder how much things have changed in a decade. While today’s vehicles are all about Internet connectivity and touch screens, the Highlander is much more analog.
There are knobs you turn to control the temperature. There’s a CD player that takes one disc at a time. It also has a cassette deck, which I used to use to play a kids’ “Wee Sing” cassette that stayed in there for about seven years. When the kids singing on the tape started sounding like Johnny Cash, I had to toss it.
Back to my divorce dilemma. As we have another soon-to-be 2-year-old, I’m almost certain that there is more backseat mayhem to come. The snacking, the dirty diapers, the bazooka barfing without warning, it’s all happening again.
I’d like to get another stick shift – and it looks like there are about three models of cars in America that still come with them – but Kate says it’s out of the question. She can’t drive one, has no interest in learning and there’s no point to having a car she can’t drive, she tells me. But I’m thinking that with several months of determined sulking, I could wear her down on this.
Things are finally starting to break on the Highlander – this year it needed a new radiator and just this week I had to shell out $400 because the power steering went out after one of the lines cracked, making turning the big boxy beast a serious arm workout.
Soon it’s going to need new tires, and new tires means hundreds of dollars more. If I commit to that, I’ll probably be locked in for at least 30,000 more miles of turning knobs and wondering if I have any cassette tapes I’d ever want to hear again.
So I’m torn. Do I end my long-term relationship for something new and more expensive, or slap some new rubber on my old analog horse and ride on for a few more years?
In the end, I’ll probably go with what Kate wants. We’ve been married 13 years, she’s great, and I don’t want to mess that up.
• Eric Olson is editor of the Daily Chronicle. Reach him at 815-756-4841 ext. 2257, email eolson@shawmedia.com, or follow him on Twitter
@DC_Editor.