Only 17 years to go.
That was my thought this week, when Avery the caboose baby turned 1.
That and, of course, to wonder, “where did the last year go?” It seems as if the older you become, the faster the years go by.
My dad tried to explain that phenomenon to me once, I think, but I was a boy then, and it seemed like he was taking an awfully long time to talk when all I wanted to do was go ride my bicycle around the neighborhood.
I was in my 20s when our first daughter came along. She was a bit of a surprise, but daughter No. 2 was part of the plan. I consulted with people, including my mother, on the best spacing for children, as though I were framing a wall or something.
Not only did we get what I considered the ideal spacing – about 2½ to 3 years apart – we snuck the second daughter in on New Year’s Eve, which meant that I would never forget her birthday, the entire world would have a party every year for her, and not unimportantly, in the eyes of the IRS, I had two dependent children for an entire tax year even though in reality it had been only a matter of hours.
(Let me be clear, my wife did almost all the work on this baby business, and probably wouldn’t characterize giving birth as “sneaking her in.” In truth, there was nothing sneaky about her arrival. It was very apparent to everyone.)
My two older daughters have grown up together, the younger one often chasing after her older sister. When she catches her, the bickering starts.
When caboose baby showed up, our careful child-spacing scheme was ruined. “Avery Baby” is six-years younger than her next sibling, and almost nine years younger than her oldest.
Her mother and I are in our late thirties. Although I understand that’s a kind of hip time in your life to have a baby, it wasn’t part of our plan. Our idea was that we would have this child-raising business behind us before the AARP started asking us to sign up.
As an old friend of mine used to say, if you want to make God laugh, make plans.
God, in his wisdom, decided that the world needed more girls, and so I should raise another one in my house along with all the female people already living there.
They tell me I’m gross sometimes, but they also need me to deal with spiders.
Having Avery in our house has been good for us all. My daughters have already made her a pawn in their games, but when they’re not fighting about her or around her, they help us take care of her.
Yes, it’s meant a return to diapers and disrupted sleep and wondering, “Why, why won’t you stop screaming, child?!?”
But there’s also something about coming home to a smiling baby girl with a head full of wild, curly hair who tells me one of the only words she knows: “Hi!”
There’s something about making a baby smile that makes me smile, too.
So we’ve got 17 years to go. I’m sure by then, 60 will be the new 50 anyway.
You know it’s bad: When watching Christopher Walken portray Captain Hook in a live TV production of “Peter Pan” seems as appealing as watching the Bears play the Cowboys.
Walken might be odd, but at least he’s interesting. The Bears have become predictably bad, and the team is looking more directionless and ambitionless with each passing week.
The fans seem to have the same feeling. There was no energy coming from that Soldier Field crowd Thursday during the Bears’ 41-28 loss to Dallas. The stadium seemed filled with the calm of a fan base resigned to mediocrity, and with their record now 5-8, the Bears are on their way to meh-town.
A lot of people would like to see coach Marc Trestman fired, and understandably so. He looks run down and a little lost out there, and the Bears have been annihilated in games under his watch this season.
If they fire Trestman, then what? Will another coach be able to come in and take the talent on the team and shape them into a winner in only a few months? I see no reason to think that.
If the Bears were willing to commit to a coach for four years, they might as well give him at least three seasons and see what happens. That means giving Trestman one more year to do or die, with no pressure to re-sign him if he succeeds and an easier time firing him if he flops.
Also: Wouldn’t it be cool to have a contract with your employer where you were guaranteed to get paid for a set amount of years whether they fired you or not?
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• Eric Olson is editor of the Daily Chronicle. Reach him at 815-756-4841 ext. 2257, email eolson@shawmedia.com, or follow him on Twitter
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