Churches take different stances on gay marriage, relationships

It's not unusual for Jim Nicodem, senior pastor of Christ Community Church in St. Charles Township, to do a lot of preparation for his weekly messages, but one topic took him particularly long: homosexuality.
It was such a big topic, he said, he didn't want to get it wrong.

After about a year of preparation that included reading up to a dozen books on the subject and talking to people with same-sex attraction, Nicodem presented a three-week series titled “The Gospel, Homosexuality and the Church” in June, the same month the same-sex marriage law went into effect in Illinois.

Because his church addresses difficult topics – such as money management, family relationships and anger issues – Nicodem said it would have been strange if it ignored homosexuality.

“We’re not going to duck a hard issue,” he said.

RESPONDING TO GAY WEDDING REQUESTS
The day the same-sex marriage law went into effect, 18 same-sex couples sought marriage licenses in Kane County.

But should such couples want to get married in a church, their choices likely would be limited, as churches are taking different stances on gay weddings.

Ron Weidler, senior pastor of Immanuel Lutheran Church in Batavia, said last month that no gay couples had yet asked him to perform their wedding, and he doesn’t necessarily expect such requests.

But in case that situation arises, Weidler already knows his answer.

“I would say no,” he said.

Meanwhile, the Congregational United Church of Christ in Campton Hills already has performed a same-sex marriage service, associate minister Suzy Richards Daly said.

The Congregational United Church of Christ itself is an “open and affirming” church, meaning it welcomes persons of all sexual orientations, gender identities and gender expressions. Daly said the congregation voted for that distinction several years ago.

She couldn’t say how large the church’s same-sex population is.

“More than most people realize, but it’s not something that we choose to point out because we believe they’re no different than the rest of us,” she said.

HOMOSEXUALITY AND THE CHURCH
Nicodem didn't know what to expect when Christ Community Church dedicated three weekends to homosexuality. Church leaders were ready for disagreement and anger, he said, adding he knew the subject would make some uncomfortable.

He acknowledged that during the first day of the series but noted how prevalent homosexuality is in society. It pops up in movies, new laws, celebrity gossip and “in the NFL draft, for crying out loud,” he told attendees.

"It's not going away," he said. "We need to deal with it, and we need to teach our kids to deal with it."
When talking about homosexuality in the framework of religion, Nicodem and Weidler said they look to the Bible for guidance.

The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod believes the family unit – father, mother, children – is integral to society, Weidler said. And although God loves all people, he said, God doesn’t approve of all behavior. Homosexuality is a behavior not approved by God, the pastor said, describing it as a moral issue – not a cultural one.

Similarly, Nicodem, who has a doctorate in Bible studies, said there has to be a rule of morality outside what the dominate view of culture defines as right and wrong.

“Our book of morality is the Bible,” he said.

Having a homosexual orientation isn’t sinful, but acting on it is, Nicodem said. He pointed to the Book of Genesis, which he said describes God’s complementary – and not homogeneous – design of men and women.

“Complementarity is important because it reflects God’s image,” he said in his series. “A man and a man can’t become one flesh in the sense of reflecting the image of God who’s diversity in unity. A woman and a woman can’t become … a one-flesh reflection of the image of God because it requires both diversity and unity.”

While Daly said she hasn’t devoted any sermons to gay marriage since the law changed, the Congregational United Church of Christ has hosted exhibits with homosexual themes.

“For me personally, love comes from God, and God is love,” Daly said. “We, as humans, can’t put limits on God’s love.”

This year her church hosted the traveling photo exhibit “Love Makes A Family: Portraits of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender People and Their Families,” and the Shower of Stoles Project is on display through September. It is a collection of stoles representing the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people of faith.

“They all have a story,” Daly said.

Know more
• Visit www.ccclife.org and click "St. Charles" and then "More Messages & Video" under "Recent Messages" to view senior pastor Jim Nicodem's three-part series on homosexuality.
• The Shower of Stoles Project at the Congregational United Church of Christ in Campton Hills is outside of the sanctuary, which is located at 40W451 Fox Mill Blvd.