Big Brothers Big Sisters of McHenry County has big need for adult mentors, with dozens of kids on wait list

When Terry Byrd first signed up to volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters, he admits it was for the wrong reasons.

His own son was unable to play sports with him, Byrd said. “It was the a way to fill the void for me.”

That first foray into volunteering as a Big Brother lasted about six months, but Byrd kept on getting and reading the charity’s emails for 15 years. A conversation with his daughter last summer reminded him it was time to start again.

“I talked to my daughter about volunteering and she asked ‘Why aren’t you volunteering then?’ Good question,” Byrd said.

It has to be something they have a passion for. They have to want to do it.”

—  Big Brothers/Big Sisters of McHenry County volunteer Terry Byrd

He reconnected with the organization that partners adults, or Bigs, with children in need of a mentor, Littles, and has been Big Brother to Kaiden, 8, for the past three months. His fiancee, Catherine Conklin, also decided to sign up as a Big Sister. She is mentoring Kaiden’s twin sister, Kennedi.

The McHenry County organization needs more people like Byrd and Conklin. It has a waiting list of 50 children in need of an adult mentor.

To be a Big Brother or Big Sister, a volunteer should be “the type of person who likes to help people. They have to have that patience, to listen and to fill that void and to help them with their needs,” Byrd said. “It has to be something they have a passion for. They have to want to do it for the right reasons.”

Byrd and Conklin often plan events that involve both of the twins, like rock climbing, sledding and going to the zoo, as well as outings on their own.

“We try to do things separately and things together, but my schedule starts to get loaded in April and May,” Byrd said. He is a sports referee who also works with special needs students, but has eased up on some of his obligations to allow for more free time.

Byrd and Conklin are part of a traditional Big/Little community program, planning outings with the children. There are other ways for adults to mentor through the program, said Haley Draper, marketing manager for the McHenry County organization, based in Crystal Lake.

The lunchtime program requires an hour a week from the adult volunteer, who spends time with the Little during lunch. Another effort called Big Futures matches young people, up to age 24, with an adult who can be a mentor for career and education goals. High school students may also mentor younger children in after-school programs across the county, Draper said.

“We have had an influx of kids over the last two months ... throughout all four of our programs” leading to the current wait list, Draper said. “We want any children who could benefit from a mentor to be a part of the program, and supportive males or females in their life.”

The twins’ mother, Donna, who asked that their last name not be used, said she saw the need for an adult male role model in Kaiden’s life.

“Being a single mom is hard, and not having a male figure in Kaiden’s life is very hard,” Donna said.

One of her adult sons suggested Kaiden needed a role model.

“I have been told by one of my older sons that, ‘Mom you can teach me to be a great person, you can’t teach me how to be a man.’ It kind of made sense,” Donna said. “Terry fills that void. He and Cathrine are great and their care for my kids is genuine.”

Signing up as a Big isn’t hard to do, Byrd said, but it does take time for the background checks and ensuring the Big and Little are good matches.

“They found the right fit,” Byrd said of the connection they have with the twins.

“To be a Big we have a pretty extensive application process,” Draper said. “It is tedious, intentionally, to get mentors who are safe, good people.”

To learn more and begin the Big Brother/Big Sister application process, go to the organization’s website, bbbsmchenry.org.