Editor’s note: Today marks the second installment of a two-part series about the growing number of women charged with domestic assault.

While some northern Illinois jurisdictions have noted an increase in the number of women charged with domestic violence, not everyone agrees that women are on the rise as domestic abusers.

Mary Margaret Maule, executive director at Turning Point Inc. in McHenry County, takes issue with the inference that female aggression is increasing.

“In domestic violence cases that I am aware of, 97% involve male aggressors and maybe just about 3% involve female aggressors,” Maule said.

Maule emphasized that domestic abuse is fundamentally about control. Domestic abuse comes in the form of physical, sexual, mental, financial, religious abuse and stalking, she said.

“Domestic violence is an intentional and repeated pattern of behavior,” Maule said. “Control can be rooted in financial control, threats to do harm to children or loved ones, immigration status. The dynamics are the same, regardless of gender.”

A historical context

Historically, male partners held control over female partners. Until the 1970s, women could not have their own credit cards. Until the mid-1980s, property owners were not legally obligated to rent to single women with children. Even until 1992 in Illinois, it was not considered a crime for a man to rape his wife.

“Women didn’t stay because it was bliss; they were stuck,” Maule said.

When women gained more independence and economic power, particularly through sports and professional opportunities in the 1970s, they developed tools to leave abusive relationships, Maule said.

Still, Maule said that underreporting affects both genders.

“Yes, both can do it, and yes, it is underreported on both sides,” she said.

But in her professional experience, reports of abusive men still surpass the number of abusive women. “We have men who have gone through our programming seeking emergency shelter or counseling or treatment as aggressors, so yes, it can happen,” Maule said. “But at the end of the day, domestic violence doesn’t discriminate. It happens in any race, age, gender, economical status. A man can be a survivor or perpetrator.”

Turning Point facilitates a men’s mental health group and a 26-week Partner Abuse Intervention Program for aggressors who may have their own traumatic history.

Understanding male victims

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the most common form of abuse experienced by men is psychological. This abuse “usually targets a man’s masculinity. Men are usually accused of not being ‘manly’ enough, not making enough money, being weak or crying when abused.”

Men also are more likely to report being stalked by an intimate partner.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, men often are reluctant to report abuse because they feel embarrassed, fear they won’t be believed or are scared their partner will take revenge. “About 16 million women and 11 million men who reported experiencing intimate partner violence in their lifetime said that they first experienced it before age 18,” according to the CDC.

While national data shows females are more often victims of domestic homicide – 57 female victims in 2023-24 – there also were 33 men killed as a result of domestic abuse during the same time frame.

How women abuse

An abusive partner who needs to make up for any difference in strength might hit, kick, bite, punch, spit, throw things or destroy possessions. An abusive partner might attack while their partner is asleep or catch them by surprise, abuse or threaten the partner’s children or pets, or use weapons such as guns or knives.

Husbands’ reluctance to press charges mirrors a pattern seen in abused women. Men who experience abuse may minimize incidents or protect their abuser due to financial dependence or fear of retaliation.

A McHenry County case: complexity and conflicting narratives

In August, a 30-year-old McHenry woman was accused of stabbing her husband in the abdomen with a steak knife. She was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, a Class 3 felony, and domestic battery causing bodily harm.

At an initial court appearance, Judge Cynthia Lamb ruled the woman was a danger to her husband and the community at large and detained her in the county jail pretrial. Police had made at least five previous calls to the home in response to domestic violence allegations, and the woman has a pending assault case in another state.

Lamb said that the couple “had been verbally arguing” when the man tried to leave the home. The woman threw his keys into the toilet. When he retrieved them and tried to leave again, the woman “approached him with a kitchen knife ... stabbed her husband in the abdomen,” the judge said.

Assistant State’s Attorney Garrett Miller said the couple had argued the night before, with the dispute continuing the next morning and escalating to the stabbing. The man was afraid of her, Miller said.

However, the defense told a different story. Assistant Public Defender David Giesinger said the husband was not afraid of her, did not request an order of protection and wanted her released. The man said his wife suffers from anxiety and was on medication, which “may have been the reason” for the incident, Giesinger said.

The woman denied going after him with a knife. She claimed that during the argument, she had a knife in her hand, and the man knocked it to the floor. She picked up the knife, and during a struggle, the man was stabbed, according to the defense.

After the case was reported, readers commented seemingly in the woman’s favor, questioning what the man had done before she stabbed him – a reaction that illustrates how domestic violence cases can be complicated and how public perception may differ from legal reality.

The woman has been accepted into mental health court and is receiving mental health treatment, court records show. Her case is still pending.

Another example: St. Charles case

In 2020, a woman in St. Charles township was charged with domestic battery, violating an order of protection and criminal damage to property, according to Kane County Sheriff’s reports.

She was accused of breaking items in their residence, then beating her boyfriend with the handle of a rake after he wouldn’t reveal the name of the woman she believed he was cheating on her with. Before the physical attack, she had picked up a shovel and dented the man’s truck.

Before the physical attack, she had been accused of violating a protection order. This woman eventually pleaded guilty to domestic battery and was sentenced to 18 months of probation, which included completing domestic violence counseling and an evaluation.

The broader picture

While some experts question whether women are truly committing more domestic violence, most agree that underreporting has historically masked the true scope of abuse by both men and women.

What’s clear is that domestic violence – regardless of the perpetrator’s gender – remains a serious issue rooted in substance abuse, mental health challenges, economic stress and power dynamics. And as police policies have shifted to mandatory arrest and prosecution, more cases involving female perpetrators are entering the criminal justice system.