Write Team: Finding out what beautiful means

What is it about our health that is so difficult to take care of?

Unless you are a hypochondriac, it is easier to take care of other people rather than yourself. Making appointments, pampering and medication reminders are all easy when it comes to taking care of my husband.

When it comes to myself, it is always something I will take care of later. When later comes around, things have usually gotten out of hand and now require a lot more attention and care.

It is frustrating to take a “time out” with life because I have let things get to the point of no return.

A couple years ago, I was overweight. It was not possible to diet or exercise when taking a breath was a Herculean effort. Nothing felt attractive unless I had a mint to spend on an oversized Abdul Faisaly. The usual articles about big and beautiful women are true, the women are beautiful. Nothing about me being big was beautiful to me.

I had problems with my heart, circulation, diabetes, back pain, etc., etc. Problems that were only getting worse by the day. It was decided by my doctor that bariatric surgery needed to be an option.

I started the process, and after a year and a half of various tests and education, it was time. It was a horrendous experience. The recovery was painful and no amount of pre-education I took could prepare me for what happened.

Although not hungry anymore, my brain wanted me to eat. When I ate, it had terrible consequences beyond my ability to handle.

Back to the hospital I went, and more education was required. It took six-and-a-half months for me to get things right.

After that, everything went smoothly. Every health problem I had disappeared, and my life has taken on a heavenly quality to it.

Most people feel like I cheated and still am cheating the natural order of things. Everything is easy for me now. I still am susceptible to all the diseases that everyone can get, but it is less likely that it will happen to me. I still am at risk for heart disease if I do not eat right and exercise (but I love to do those things now).

I do not judge overweight people now that I am not overweight. My heart goes out to them and everyone who battles hunger and constant diets. It makes me sad to see people struggling and micromanaging, but failing all attempts to look like what society says is attractive.

What I failed to understand before the surgery is that people are beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. I still am the same person I was when I was obese.

It is all about attitude and how we perceive ourselves. Everyone needs to take care of themselves and care about who they are and forgive themselves for what is inevitable. I forgive the thin and beautiful people who made me feel so bad about myself. I forgive myself for having to go through hell and back in order to be healthy for my kids and husband.

• Christina Elnicki is a mother of five and has been married for 26 years. She lives in Oglesby and works in Spring Valley at a nursing home. She can be reached at dbarichello@shawmedia.com.