A Taylor-Made Life: Sleep, my unrequited love

I love sleep. Sleep does not love me back.

I remember being 5 or 6 years old, staring at the ceiling at night, willing my mind to drift off into slumber. This push-and-pull routine has existed since.

I’ve tried counting sheep, going to sleep and waking up at different times, cutting sugar and caffeine off at a certain hour, white noise – you name it. While consistently exercising over the last year has been helpful in a variety of ways, it hasn’t done much to change my sleep.

The problem is my overactive mind and the urge to solve all the world’s problems as soon as my head hits the pillow.

So maybe it’s not that sleep doesn’t love me back, but rather that my brain is putting a wedge between our love.

I’ve always found my relationship with sleep to border on ironic. I can spend most of the day fatigued, eager for nightfall to catch up on some Z’s. Then, when the time comes, it’s like all the lights turn on in my brain, and it can be hard to cut the power.

In recent years, a combination of no caffeine past 2 p.m. and reading a book (not my phone) before bed seems to be helpful. Sleeping with an eye mask has also been a plus.

But every time I think that recipe has cured the issue, I have a spell of toss-and-turn nights that throw me into a “loves me, loves me not” tizzy.

I’ve considered doing a sleep study, but I have convinced myself that I won’t be able to fall asleep in order for them to study me.

I’m guessing I’ve accrued quite a bit of sleep debt, which, according to WebMD, is the difference between how much sleep you need and how much you actually get. When you sleep fewer hours than your body needs, you have a sleep debt.

To help keep this in check, I do my best not to overextend myself and leave time to catch up on rest – even if that doesn’t include actual sleep.

I’d love to hear your experiences with this. If you have tips on sleep, or simply relate, drop me a message at Taylor Leddin – Writer on Facebook.