Domestic violence expert talks red flags to watch for in relationships

DeKALB – In the wake of a DeKalb teenager’s death, DeKalb County area domestic violence experts are talking red flags to watch for if ever in a situation where someone close may become violent, and stress resources are available to those in need.

After the death of 15-year-old Gracie Sasso-Cleveland, which shook the DeKalb High School community last weekend, staff at Safe Passage – the domestic violence shelter in DeKalb – said they want to educate the community about interpersonal violence, detail how to identify if someone may become violent and promote awareness about local resources.

Timothy Doll, 29, of DeKalb is facing eight charges in Sasso-Cleveland’s death, including two counts of first-degree murder, as well as aggravated criminal sexual abuse, concealment of a homicide, aggravated domestic battery, obstruction of justice, unlawful restraint and unlawful communication by a child sex offender.

Sasso-Cleveland’s body was found in a dumpster May 7, three days after Doll allegedly suffocated her with a pillow and then discarded her body in the trash, prosecutors allege in DeKalb County court documents.

Abuse could look like physical abuse, emotional and verbal abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, digital abuse and stalking.”

—  Hayley Garcia, sexual assault program manager at Safe Passage

If convicted, he could face up to 60 years in prison. Doll is expected to remain in the DeKalb County Jail without bail until at least Monday, at which point Circuit Court Judge Marcy Buick is expected to make a bond ruling.

According to court records, Doll told police that he was “in a dating and sexual relationship” with the DeKalb High School freshman, whom he knew was only 15.

The girl was the victim of an inappropriate relationship that already had seen violence, according to court records. In a police interview, a family member of Sasso-Cleveland told police that Doll had choked the girl at least once in the past, records show. Doll confirmed to police that that was true, records show.

Hayley Garcia, a sexual assault program manager at Safe Passage, said she believes it’s clear that Sasso-Cleveland was a victim of grooming.

“When we look at the age difference and his history, he’s identified as a sex offender; yes, there’s most definitely grooming involved,” Garcia said.

Garcia said that once a child has been groomed, statistics show that abuse likely already has begun.

“The biggest red immediate flags are special attention, preference to child, gift-giving, touching or hugging the child, being a sympathetic listener, offers stuff to the family,” Garcia said. “The other part here is the accessibility via internet or social media. The perpetrators often pretend to be someone they aren’t in order to gain access to children online. So, it’s really important to know who your kids are talking to and what apps and things that they’re involved in.”

Garcia wanted it to be clear that there are different types of abuse within dating relationships or interpersonal violence.

“Abuse could look like physical abuse, emotional and verbal abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, digital abuse and stalking,” Garcia said.

Garcia said it’s not always easy to pinpoint abuse.

“Sometimes it can be a spectrum,” Garcia said. “They can slowly increase the warning signs … over time. Think about what are the red flags. Sometimes it can be hard to tell when the behavior goes from healthy to unhealthy or even abuse.”

Garcia shared some signs that she said loved ones should watch out for if it’s suspected that a person close to them may become violent. Those signs include if that person is:

• checking your phone, email or social media accounts without your permission
• putting you down frequently, especially in front of others
• isolating you from friends or family whether physically, financially or emotionally
• extremely jealous or insecure
• exhibiting explosive tempers, outbursts or mood swings
• showing any form of physical harm
• exhibiting controlling behavior
• location tracking
• pressuring or forcing you to have sex or engage in sexual behaviors you’re not comfortable with

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse or assault, call the Safe Passage hotline at 815-756-5228 or text the crisis line at 815-393-1995. Operators are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.