DeKalb vigil calls upon survivors of domestic violence, advocates to ‘break the silence’

DeKALB – DeKalb resident Cari said she knows all too well the relationship between silence and fear.

Together, they can make for a dangerous combination. Cari, a domestic violence survivor herself heaped praise on Safe Passage, DeKalb County’s only domestic violence prevention and survivor advocacy center, for the resources they provided her when she needed it most.

“My whole life was turned out around,” Cari said. “I’ve been clean for almost nine months.”

Cari said she struggled to find help and people who would believe her as she dealt with the dueling challenges of living with a domestic abuser and substance abuse issues. She said she had been rejected by 15 domestic violence shelters before those at Safe Passage agreed to work with her.

“I was lucky I survived,” Cari said. “I’d end up six feet under.”

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Sylvia King, from DeKalb, becomes emotional as she listens to speakers Monday, Oct. 3, 2022, at the Egyptian Theatre during the Safe Passage domestic violence vigil. (Mark Busch - mbusch@shawmedia.com/Mark Busch - mbusch@shawmedia.com)

Safe Passage hosted a vigil Monday in commemoration of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, inviting survivors and advocates to share testimony and speak to resources available in the community for those in need of aid. The event featured a speak out, remarks shared by dignitaries and a candlelight procession.

DeKalb Police Chief David Byrd said he felt compelled to take part in the annual vigil to show the community that area authorities are committed to targeting domestic abuse.

“Every year, I come here for a lot of reasons: one [is to] support the fight against domestic violence,” Byrd said. “But also I come here every year to confirm our dedication and our challenge to protect victims of domestic violence and to also try to end domestic violence. I think it’s important that you hear from a leader of a law enforcement agency that covers the city of DeKalb. … Sometimes I believe that I need to validate what the police department is doing. I think my presence does that in a lot of ways.”

Byrd said he is hopeful that the fight against domestic violence won’t be for naught.

“We have to stop the cycle,” Byrd said. “It starts with every breathing soul in this city, every breathing soul in this country. … It’s a world problem.”

DeKalb County State’s Attorney Rick Amato said fighting domestic violence in the community has been a priority since he came into office six years ago. Now in his second term, Amato said his office has changed how they prosecute domestic violence cases.

“We have two attorneys fully dedicated to domestic violence and I’m adding a third to be part time in there,” Amato said.

The state’s attorney’s office has more than 1,000 domestic violence cases awaiting prosecution, to date, he said.

Amato said many people are “suffering in silence” out there.

“It’s not lost on me that it’s 1,000 families, 1,000 victims, 1,000 futures right here in our community,” he said, adding that it’s important to have events such as the vigil put on Safe Passage to bring awareness to the cause. “It’s necessary that we hear your survival.”

Circuit Court Judge Marcy Buick said that although she can’t take a position as an advocate because she is committed to maintaining impartiality in court cases she presides over, she said that it was clear domestic violence is a societal problem.

“Domestic violence in DeKalb County is real and, yes, it is prevalent,” she said.

Safe Passage Executive Director Mary Ellen Schaid commended the agency’s clients for working to create change in their lives.

“It takes a huge amount of bravery to break the silence [of] domestic violence,” Schaid said. “The more and more people that do that, the more and more that we’re going to be able to cut that in the world. That is what we aspire to.”

This story has been corrected as of Oct. 4, 2022 after an earlier version incorrectly quoted DeKalb Police Chief David Byrd. His quote should read “Every year, I come here for a lot of reasons: one [is to] support the fight against domestic violence,” Byrd said.