As suicide-related police calls are on the rise in DeKalb County, deaths about the same from last year

If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts or other forms of mental health crisis, you’re not alone, help is out there. You can call 911, or the Ben Gordon Center 24/7 crisis hotline at 866-242-0111, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255 24/7 or text HOME to 741741, call the Illinois Warm Line, 866-359-7953 or 211 for a non-emergency line.

DeKalb Police Cmdr. Jason Leverton said the number of suicide-related calls keeps increasing year over year for the police department – and the COVID-19 pandemic hasn’t helped matters.

Leverton said many people have lost jobs or can’t work due to the pandemic, causing financial strain. He said some might otherwise thrive in a more social environment at work and recreational options have been and are still somewhat limited.

“It has really been detrimental to mental health,” Leverton said.

From an emergency response perspective, Leverton said he thinks the number of people who struggle with suicidal thoughts may not have increased so much so as an increased awareness of mental health awareness, spurring more people to talk about the issue publicly. For example, he said police have responded to multiple calls from someone requesting a wellness check after the caller saw something they thought was concerning on social media.

“We do think that part of the increase of our calls is just because there are more eyes on people that are posting publicly about negative thoughts,” Leverton said. “So that’s certainly one avenue.”

By the numbers

According to DeKalb County Coroner data obtained by Daily Chronicle through Freedom of Information Act requests, the number of deaths by suicide remained about the same year over year, with 13 recorded between March 19, 2019, and March 19, 2020, and 12 recorded between March 19, 2020, and March 19, 2021. However, police departments within the county are reporting noticeable increases in suicide-related calls, according to similar data provided by the departments via FOIA requests.

The DeKalb Police Department recorded three calls about deaths by suicide and 252 suicide-related calls – including suicidal subjects and suicide attempts – from March 19, 2019, to March 19, 2020, according to department data. Though there were two calls about deaths by suicide this year, there were 263 suicide-related calls this year.

The Sycamore Police Department saw an even steeper increase in those types of calls year over year. There was one death by suicide call and 37 suicide-related calls this year, whereas there were four death by suicide calls and 17 suicide-related calls recorded the previous year, according to department data.

This year, the DeKalb County Sheriff’s Office received three death by suicide calls and 71 suicide-related calls – that’s compared to no death by suicide calls and 60 suicide-related calls the previous year, according to sheriff’s office data. Though one death by suicide call came in within the previous couple of years, Genoa’s suicide-related calls doubled year over year, according to department data.

Dr. Karyn Erkfritz-Gay, a clinical psychologist through the Northwestern Medicine Ben Gordon Center, said clinicians saw the use of mental health therapy was really high when the community was in the more strict shelter in place a year ago. She said the use of the county’s 24/7 crisis line – 866-242-0111 – increased as well.

Erkfritz-Gay said the total number of crisis assessments had been down within the previous year or so, since a lot of them are completed either at schools, which weren’t open in person for a while, or at local hospitals, which people had avoided at the beginning for fear of COVID-19 spread. With students going back to school since about a month ago, she said those numbers are starting to creep back up.

“Certainly above what those numbers were last year, because everyone was stuck at home,” Erkfritz-Gay said.

DeKalb County Coroner Dennis Miller, who has been coroner in the county for more than three decades, said he has seen suicide rate increases correlate with the change of seasons in the past.

“Usually the holidays are our larger suicide rate than the normal sometimes with school,” Miller said, referring to Northern Illinois University and Kishwaukee College students. “Of course, school’s been crazy this year because of this past year, because of what’s going on with COVID.”

Among the recorded suicides so far, though, there weren’t any college students included in that count, Miller said. He said he has seen those who die by suicide have financial problems, terminal health issues or due to their marital status.

Miller said he hasn’t come across any suicides directly tied to the pandemic.

“That’s a good thing,” Miller said. “But I don’t know. People are staying home. People heal. Spouses are together more. ... You’re not your regular routine of going to work and doing whatever your routine is.”

Miller said he sees an average of about 16 suicides per year in the county. He said he didn’t have demographics of those suicides including race or age, but he’s noticed more males die by suicide than females – though he wasn’t sure why that was, either.

“Some people are asking for help in different ways,” Miller said. “If a person attempts to take their life, they’re asking for help. Sometimes I come upon a scene where the person could have been revived. If they were found sooner, they could have been taken to the hospital and cared for. And sometimes people like that are asking for help, but don’t know how to ask for it sometimes. So they may attempt to harm themselves.”

Language matters

Meghan Cook, member of the DeKalb County Mental Health Board and access coordinator for recovery center system Rosecrance, said the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has reported a common cited reason why people attempt suicide is because of a relationship problem – whether it be romantic or friendship. Those relationships being disrupted due to the pandemic, along with financial factors like unemployment or doing jobs differently than before, increases the risk for suicide, she said.

“And then just the natural barrier to treatment that exists due to all of the above,” Cook said. " ... Maybe you’ve left your insurance. Maybe your provider is only doing online and you don’t have those access to those electronic resources. Many agencies have not survived through COVID and we’re experiencing also a natural lessening of resources available for individuals who are in need.”

Language matters when talking about suicide, Cook said.

“The reason why language matters is because of stigma,” Cook said. “And because we don’t want individuals to feel as if by asking for our help that they’re in some way a burden or receiving negative feedback from the need for help.”

For example, Cook said, “committed suicide” could have a negative connotation relating to crime, like committing a crime.

“And, in fact, we know that in the past suicide was a crime,” Cook said. “And so continuing to use verbiage that contributes to that kind of narrative can really limit someone’s willingness to admit that they’re having any feelings like that.”

Cook said “completed suicide” has become a more widely used alternative, though there have been concerns about the usage of that.

“Things we complete are marathons, are homework assignments, our tasks, our goals,” Cook said. “By attaching the word completed to suicide, especially maybe to a younger person or someone who’s desperately seeking success or approval, can be a very confusing message also to the family.”

Cook said the preferred language is “died by suicide.” Ultimately, she said, getting caught up in using the correct words might not be helpful, either.

“I think, at the end of the day, if not knowing the right words keeps you silent, then use what you know,” Cook said. “If you were in need of help and you don’t know how to say it, say what you do know.”

How to help

“It’s okay not to be okay.”

That’s a point Joel Frieders, director of public policy for Hope for the Day and Yorkville Third Ward Alderman, makes repeatedly during City Council meetings – whether it be wearing a T-shirt with the phrase, a similar wristband or actually saying it during his alderman reports.

It’s something he’s become a lot more deliberate about saying after his Western Illinois University college roommate Fasil Derege died by suicide on May 10, 2003, and his friend and Chicago entertainer Mike Malinowski, also known as Mic One, died by suicide on July 29, 2017.

Frieders said even on a good day, someone with all of the resources in the world can go from having a not so bad day to a potentially last day. Having the COVID-19 pandemic on top of that doesn’t help, either, especially with the added financial implications of losing a job or benefits and the extra stress and tension that could come with that, he said.

“And it’s not like it’s fun to talk like that, but it’s already been pretty dramatic,” Frieders said. “But then adding this extra stress, it’s just detrimental to being able to feel like you can be in control of anything.”

Hope for the Day is a non-profit organization based in Chicago, though it also serves the northern Illinois region. The group focuses on suicide prevention by providing outreach and mental health education using music and art, including concerts, workshops and other events, according to its website.

Frieders said he thinks the indefinite nature of the pandemic is one of the more stressful things about it.

“Because even if it’s a [expletive] sandwich, you just don’t know how many [expletive] sandwiches you got to eat until you can say I got through it,” Frieders said. “So, yeah, it’s bleak as hell.”

Frieders said one of the things that people come to him about is not knowing what to say when someone in their life is struggling. Without being a trained mental health professional, he said, one way to help is to let their loved one express themselves and get things off their chest.

“When somebody tells you that something sucks, the only ... words you have to say are, ‘Ugh, that sucks,’ " Frieders said. “Because you don’t need to tell someone what they’re feeling. You don’t need to correct how someone’s feeling. You don’t need to do anything but allow that person to exist in front of you, the way that they are currently existing.”

What usually doesn’t help is to make pain a competition, Frieders said.

“Sometimes people get really, really defensive when you tell them that you were experiencing stuff and it turns into this pissing match,” Frieders said. “Like, ‘Oh man, I worked two doubles in a row.’ And rather than saying, ‘Ugh, that sucks,’ you go, ‘Oh yeah? Well I worked three doubles in a row.’ And it becomes this, this competition of who’s had the worst day.”

Frieders said it might be more challenging for people to practice self-care during the pandemic when it might usually include going out to concerts or restaurants. Regardless, it’s important to allow yourself to feel feelings and to find a healthy way to express them, like creating music or art or exercising, he said.

“Like for me, I wash the dishes or I rub my wife’s feet because I can’t talk on the phone and I can’t touch my phone when I’m doing those things and it allows me to just be there,” Frieders said. “That’s the type of self care that I look forward to.”

Frieders said there’s nothing wrong with having a bad day. He said it’s okay to be angry or sad.

“But it’s not okay to either shame someone or tell someone that they should do it a different way simply because you feel the need to support them by belittling them, by telling them how they should be feeling,” Frieders said. “Because nobody can have an opinion on how you’re feeling something outside of the person who’s experiencing it. It just doesn’t happen.”

Frieders said another way to approach a loved one you’re concerned about is to switch from asking, “Why do you feel like that?” to “What is making you feel like that?”

“A ‘why’ requires someone to defend themselves or basically legitimize why they feel a certain way,” Frieders said. “Like, if I say, ‘Why are you sad?’ Like, it already sounds like I’m being like dismissive. ... But if I say, ‘What’s pissing you off?’, ‘what’ leads to bullet points, which leads to problem solving.”

If someone is concerned somebody is going to attempt suicide or they are otherwise worried about their mental health, Frieders said calling 911 can help as long as the caller is explicit they are calling about a non-violent mental health emergency, the person is in crisis and they need a trained EMT or ambulance. He said hftd.org also has a list of free or reduced cost resources searchable by ZIP code and people also can save the crisis text line number, 741-741, to their cell phones.

All in all, Frieders said there’s a lot that people can learn from the pandemic mental health-wise. He said letting someone express their feelings, whether that means yelling or crying, can go a long way.

“We don’t want people punching walls and kicking down doors,” Frieders said. “But I would much rather have somebody punch a wall than attempt their life.”

DeKalb Police Cmdr. Jason Leverton said that, regarding the fact that people are depressed or feeling negative about the present or future, it’s okay to feel that way.

“The fact of the matter is, life is hard and it’s okay to accept that fact,” Leverton said.

Erkfritz-Gay said she wanted to stress to the community that help is always available for those who want and need it. She said the Ben Gordon Center offers walk-in crisis support during business hours, 8 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday and 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Fridays.

Erkfritz-Gay said the center also has a program called The Living Room, which is a free resource available to adults in the community that is meant to act as a more casual setting for recovery support services, behavioral health and substance abuse, for example. She said adults who take part in the program could also be provided with additional services, if need be.

“It’s really just intended to be a safe, supportive place,” Erkfritz-Gay said.

Erkfritz-Gay said the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, 800-273-8255, and the Illinois Warm Line, 866-359-7953, are other options available for mental health support. She said virtual support groups are another option as well.

“I think as we hit the one-year-into-the-pandemic mark, I think that we’re seeing that fatigue and toll and how that’s impacting behavioral health in general – not just people who have been dealing with anxiety and depression before the pandemic, but as a general population,” Erkfritz-Gay said. “Everybody’s really having a hard time.”

Leverton said sometimes all people need is to just talk to someone to work through whatever might be going on in their life. He said it helps to have good support system of people you trust, including family, church members or friends.

Leverton said he will always encourage counseling. He said sometimes there’s a negative connotation to counseling or therapy, but every single person goes through a point in life where they could benefit from those types of services.

“It’s just kind of that neutral friend that you can sit down and talk with and help you walk through … those problems,” Leverton said. " ... If really fear for someone’s safety, we will always go and check on those people and really go to great lengths to check on those people.”