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Hosey: Hold on tight to the Spirit of Halloween

It wasn’t so long ago that it looked like the haunted house racket was teetering on the precipice of disaster. There was the Statesville Haunted Prison, of course, operating out in Crest Hill as it had for so many years, right near the Stateville Actual Prison. But then Statesville all of a sudden had company, as a place called HellsGate Haunted House opened over in Lockport, and then a haunted house outfit from Elgin threatened to set up shop in the Old Joliet Prison. The Elgin crew ended up failing in their endeavor to expand into Joliet, but a haunted house company from Melrose Park, 13th Floor Haunted House, stepped in with a $500,000 plan of to renovate a prison building in time for the coming Halloween, which appeared to be somewhat of a mixed blessing, as how many haunted houses can you expect the greater Joliet area to support?

September 27, 2020 at 7:04 pm CDT

As it happens, we’re not going to find out this Halloween, if we ever get to find out at all. (Joseph Hosey)

As it happens, we’re not going to find out this Halloween, if we ever get to find out at all. (Joseph Hosey)

Statesville Haunted Prison and HellsGate Haunted House didn’t open for this season, as it’s one thing to pay $20 or so to feel frightened by the idea of monsters and eternal damnation, and quite another to pay that kind of money and fear the idea of catching a deadly virus in a crowded room full of screaming people. (Eric Ginnard)

The pandemic also apparently put a damper on the project at the prison. (Joseph Hosey)

“Unfortunately we were not able to open Old Joliet Prison this year,” Amy Gabriel of 13th Floor Haunted House said in an email, adding, “We hope to be on track for next year!” (Joseph Hosey)

So it looks like there will be a serious lack of local haunted houses this Halloween. And to make matters worse, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention labeled the very act of trick-or-treating a “higher risk activity” that should be avoided, and you have to wonder what — if anything — is left of the holiday. (Joseph Hosey)

Actually, there is plenty left, thanks to those shops that magically appear each year in the buildings that once housed failed electronics and sporting goods stores. And the lure of a Spirit Halloween store is a powerful one, now that autumn is here with its Starbucks pumpkin spice lattes and crisp, 78-degree afternoons. (Joseph Hosey)

The haunted houses may be closed, and trick-or-treating — if you’re brave enough to try it — might kill you, but it’s still safe to decorate your front yard. (Joseph Hosey)

It’s almost like Christmas, but instead of the Baby Jesus with the wise men and the shepherds, or the more secular snowmen and reindeer, you can go with the 6-foot Flesh-Eating Zombie or the 7-foot Towering Boogie Man With Kid — both animatronic and only $199.99 and $279.99, respectively. (Joseph Hosey)

There’s nothing especially risky about letting the neighbors stand at a safe distance on the sidewalk and admire your $99, 6-foot inflatable LED skeleton hands, and a $74.99 low-lying fog machine might seem scary, but breathing a bit of fog never killed anybody, unlike the novel coronavirus. (Joseph Hosey)

There’s no reason to take chances just to feel frightened this Halloween. But if you’re especially bold and really want a scare, you can always drive over the I-80 death bridge that Local 150 of the International Order of Operating Engineers warned us about. (Shaw Media)

Cross it at your own risk — if you dare. (Eric Ginnard)

• Joe Hosey is the editor of The Herald-News. You can reach him at 815-280-4094, at jhosey@shawmedia.com or on Twitter @JoeHosey.

Joe Hosey

Joe Hosey became editor of The Herald-News in 2018. As a reporter, he covered the disappearance of Stacy Peterson and criminal investigation of her husband, former Bolingbrook police Sgt. Drew Peterson. He was the 2015 Illinois Journalist of the Year and 2014 National Press Club John Aubuchon Press Freedom Award winner.