The days during the transition from one calendar year to the next are a good time to take stock, a good time to appreciate one’s blessings and commit to improving oneself.

Most of us engage in reflection one way or another this time of year. We covet those moments when we can pause from our daily commitments and tune out the ubiquitous voices of family and colleagues, blare of the television, and screech of social media. We try to have honest conversations with ourselves, and we try to develop a hopeful path forward.

I do my best thinking before going to sleep. Typically, I can shut out distractions after a while and find a zone to be alone with my thoughts and have honest internal monologue.

I am failing miserably this year.

As soon as I start to tune out the world and find that zone, I am abruptly brought back by a flash memory of the latest egregious violation​s of common courtesy committed by national leader​s that appear daily, often numerous times daily, as news headlines on my phone. The zone is gone. I try to get back into that zone again and again (and fail again and again) until I give up or fall asleep.

These egregious violations of common courtesy are not unique to Democrats or Republicans, Conservatives or Liberals, and they are not unique to now. Horrible and petty elected leaders have always existed in every political party and will always exist. It’s just that they are especially horrible and petty today, and the media and social media magnify their acerbic voices.

I was taught to be honest by my parents, I was schooled to be humble by the nuns at St. Mary’s Elementary School, and I was mentored to be respectful by coaches like Robert Harvey at DePauw University. When my parents asked me if I was their child who did something wrong, they emphasized that lying about it would only make the punishment much worse. When a nun saw even a hint of narcissism in anything I did, she reminded me of Jesus’ humility and put me in detention. When a coach thought I was being disrespectful to an opposing athlete, I was made to run sprints until my throbbing legs reminded me of the importance of sportsmanship.

Honesty, humility, and respectfulness are central traits of common courtesy. A leader who makes up data and pitches them as facts is not honest. A leader who makes everything about themself instead of the people they serve is not humble. A leader who speaks ill of former leaders and of the dead is not respectful. I refuse to vote for any leader – even if I agree with their policies – who fundamentally is not honest, humble, and respectful.

Sauk Valley Community College’s statement of ethical values begins with the importance of respecting the worth and dignity of all people. While not perfect, I am proud that each faculty and staff member at the college . . . and nearly every person I know in the Sauk Valley, including our elected leaders . . . displays in their daily actions the honesty, humility, and respectfulness central to common courtesy.

Because of this common courtesy, the spirit of collegiality is alive at the college and throughout the Sauk Valley. Most people in the Sauk Valley value the spirit of collegiality and use it to find common ground with people of varying political, social, and religious views to improve our communities. Nearly everyone I know in the Sauk Valley cherishes common courtesy and practices it daily.

When trying to get into the zone before sleep, here’s the mantra I am going to use to block out the latest egregious violations of common courtesy committed by national leaders: common courtesy is alive and well in the Sauk Valley; collegiality is alive and well in the Sauk Valley; common ground is alive and well in the Sauk Valley.

With discipline, I may be successful using this mantra to find that zone so I can take stock, appreciate my blessings, and commit to improving myself.

David Hellmich is president of Sauk Valley Community College.