Ah, there is nothing quite like holiday party season. Whether it’s hosted by your company, family or friends, there seems to be a natural let down of inhibitions when party season rolls around.
This week, I have two such parties, one of which has become a holiday tradition and requires a trip to Charleston, South Carolina.
For those of you that have been there, you know that Charleston is a beautiful, charming little city. There are great sites to see, some fabulous restaurants where exceptionally nice people serve you great and unique food. To say the least, Charleston is a picture of what the gentle South looks like.
Unfortunately, on June 17, 2015, Charleston was anything but. That was the day nine people, all African Americans, were killed during a Bible study at the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church. Among those people who were killed was the senior pastor, state Sen. Clementa C. Pinckney. This church is one of the oldest black churches in the United States.
Dylann Roof, a 21-year-old white supremacist who had attended the Bible study before he committed the shooting, was arrested the following morning and was found to have targeted members of this church because of its history and status. Roof was found competent to stand trial in federal court.
As horrific as the murders were, what has stood out historically from that event has been the reaction families had toward the shooter. The relatives of people slain inside the church were able to speak directly to the accused gunman at his first court appearance.
One by one, those who chose to speak did not turn to anger. Instead, they offered the murderer forgiveness and said they were praying for his soul, even as they described the pain of their losses.
A story that appeared in the Washington Post that week described what some of the family members said.
“I forgive you,” Nadine Collier, the daughter of 70-year-old Ethel Lance, said at the hearing, her voice breaking with emotion. “You took something very precious from me. I will never talk to her again. I will never, ever hold her again. But I forgive you. And have mercy on your soul.”
In December of 2015, while attending our company’s holiday party, several of my colleagues and I visited the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church. We wanted to see, experience, and feel the spirit that seemed to emanate from the building.
We found some wooden signs that had been erected to pay tribute to those that so senselessly lost their lives that day. We hand signed our names to those boards, joining literally thousands of other visitors to the church.
As I stood there in silent reverence, I was reminded of what one mother had to say at the hearing.
“We welcomed you Wednesday night in our Bible study with welcome arms,” said Felicia Sanders, her voice trembling. “Tywanza Sanders was my son. But Tywanza Sanders was my hero. Tywanza was my hero ... May God have mercy on you.”
I’ve been back to Charleston over a dozen times since then and always make a point of finding the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church. The signs we signed are long gone. The church has been painted and the steps cleaned. Life goes on.
Forgiveness is perhaps one of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal. It has the power to heal and allows us to move on with our lives. Let’s all employ this tool as we enter this wonderful time of year.
- Jonathan Freeburg is an Ottawa transplant for the past two decades-plus and a regular contributor to 1430 WCMY Radio. He can be reached at newsroom@shawmedia.com.