Salmagundi: 18 years enough to know the learning never ends

I learned a lot in the first 936 weeks of my son’s life, the most recent 52 of which we celebrated Sunday by not forcing him to attend his brother’s baseball games.

I learned to open the camera app and activate selfie mode a split second before holding up the phone for a photo only one of us wants taken.

I learned some statements – like “You will have to participate in your high school graduation” – don’t necessarily go without saying, but thankfully only need to be said once.

I learned the same little boy who had to be held in place for a haircut may eventually grow into a young man who drives himself to the salon (provided I make the appointment, put the address in the electronic calendar, pay for the cut and, most importantly, choose the place across the street from a Taco Bell).

I learned the only thing worse than a haircut is having to wear a swimming cap during the gym class pool unit.

I learned the power of making it known help is available, then laying back to observe tasks accomplished without intervention. And then to keep my mouth shut about the outcome.

I learned “can I borrow the car?” sometimes means “can I go to Target to buy a stupid amount of candy for my little brothers for Christmas?” rendering the giant bag of Swedish Fish the most popular item under the tree.

I learned to ask other parents about college plans only with their children well out of earshot.

I learned the deep sense of relief that accompanies a post-high school plan, especially one pointing logically toward a practical goal.

I learned the college charges $12 extra per class for online instruction, at least a semester’s reprieve on acquiring a third vehicle.

I learned full family vacations are no more.

I learned using the same column gimmick every April since 2004 eventually will run its course, even if it does so before I really learn how to process all the emotions that come with reaching a milestone that at once seemed almost entirely impossible. That for every acknowledgement that fits inside a 52-week window, the real wonderment is in seeing the preschooler with the IEP and the day care rap sheet become the high school senior earning college credit with honors.

Learning about my baby as he nears adulthood and all points in between has been life’s great blessing, His younger brothers have no idea the contributions he’s made to me and our family.

This tradition ends today, but I’ll never stop learning what it means to be a dad – his, especially – and I sincerely thank everyone who’s provided encouragement along the way.

• Scott T. Holland, former associate editor of The Times and current Eye On Illinois columnist for Shaw Local, can be reached at sholland@shawmedia.com.