Have you ever had a season where it felt like everything was turning against you – at work, at home, even in your head? One minute, you’re moving toward a goal; the next, you spin your wheels in frustration.
A new manager is suddenly making your life harder. A family member is mad no matter what you say. You try to stay positive, but everything feels off.
That kind of season can knock the wind out of you. You lose the spring in your step. You go home at night, dreading the next day. You wonder how you’re going to make it through. You feel like you’re carrying a weight you never asked for.
You pray. You vent to your loved ones. They offer support, but nothing seems to change. Positive thoughts start to feel like clichés. You tell yourself, “Just keep putting one foot in front of the other,” but deep down, you’re running on empty.
You wonder if maybe this is just the new normal.
We plan for great things. But sometimes, the plan goes sideways.
Expectations get crushed. And when that happens, it’s easy to spiral. Easy to believe it’s always going to be this way. You start to think the best days are behind you. And that’s a dangerous place to live.
I used to say, “When life gives you lemons, squirt your enemies in the eye.” That may not be the best strategy. Even if it feels satisfying for a second.
Years ago, I had a job where everything was going well – until it wasn’t. A new manager came in, and suddenly, the entire atmosphere changed. At first, I tried to roll with it. I took on more work. I kept quiet when things were unfair. But eventually, I couldn’t stand going to work.
I’d park outside the building and sit there, my hands gripping the steering wheel, trying to will myself to walk in. I felt angry, powerless and ashamed for feeling so stuck. I didn’t want to leave the job, but I didn’t think I could stay either.
I prayed. I journaled. I read self-help books and tried to “fix” the manager in my head. I planned conversations. I imagined blowups. I tried being nice, being tough, being neutral. Nothing worked.
Then came the moment of clarity: I wasn’t going to change the manager. I wasn’t going to change the environment. But I could change myself.
Sometimes, overcoming a problem isn’t about changing the other person. It’s about changing your reaction. Changing your expectations. Your posture. Your peace.
And it’s not just at work. I’ve had family members get angry with me, and my first instinct was always to push back, explain, justify, fix. I’d vent to other relatives. I’d rehearse comebacks in my head. It never helped. What finally brought peace was changing myself, not them.
I stopped trying to win. I started listening more. I stopped needing to be understood and started trying to understand.
Here’s the hard truth: The other person might never change. At least not when you want them to. But your attitude can, and sometimes that changes everything.
They say everything in life is only for a season. Is that true?
Oddly enough, when I finally adjusted my mindset and let go of trying to control everything, my manager was fired.
But here’s the twist: When he was gone, I missed him. Not because I liked the challenge, but because he changed me. That pressure forged growth. It gave me strength I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Whatever you’re going through right now, remember, it won’t last forever. This season will pass. But don’t miss the chance to let it shape you.
The goal isn’t just to survive it. The goal is to let it strengthen you. To make you softer in the right places and stronger in others.
C.S. Lewis once wrote, “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.”
I believe that.
So, maybe today’s challenge isn’t here to break you.
Maybe it’s here to build you. To shape you. To prepare you for what’s next, not what’s easy. Take a quiet moment. Look at where you’re resisting.
Where you’re blaming. Where you’re waiting on someone else to change before you take your next step.
And then ask yourself – what if this isn’t about them?
What if the breakthrough you’ve been asking for doesn’t come to you – until it comes through you?
• Toby Moore is a Shaw Local News Network columnist, star of the Emmy-nominated film “A Separate Peace,” and CEO of CubeStream Inc. He can be reached at feedback@shawmedia.com.