As an organizational and economic development consultant, I often am asked, "Does leadership really matter and, if so, how do I become a more effective leader in my organization?" This is an interesting question and certainly one that is addressed countless times in leadership literature. But before I delve into and attempt to answer this question, I would like to take a holistic approach to what leadership really is about.

Leadership advocates tend to portray leadership as something different from management, and illustrated by the maxim, management is doing things right and leadership is doing the right things. Of course, there is a distinct difference between managing things and leading people.

However, there are times when managers must be leaders and when leaders must be managers. They often overlap and central to the success of every organization is certainly managing things and leading people; but often times the real dilemma is how do we really lead people?

In the context of this analysis, I came across a compelling book by The Arbinger Institute titled, "Leadership and Self Deception: Getting out of the Box." I will highlight the central themes and then show how to apply them into your leadership domain.

Central to leading others, rather than misleading our direct reports, we often times place ourselves in a box, which the The Arbinger Institute calls "self-deception."

Self-deception in this particular instance is when we do the following: 1) When I act contrary to what I feel I should do but I don't (self-betrayal). 2) When I betray myself, I begin to see the world in a way that justifies my self-betrayal. 3) When I see a self-justifying world, my view of reality becomes distorted. 4) So, when I betray myself, I enter the box. 5) Over time, certain boxes become characteristic of me, and I carry them with me. 6) By being in the box, I provoke others to be in the box. 7) In the box, we invite mutual mistreatment and obtain mutual justification. We collude in giving each other reasons to stay in the box.

The interesting reality of being in the box (so to speak) is that we put ourselves in there and then justify why we should treat others unfairly or poorly because they respond by mutually justifying our view of them in the first place. I provoke others to get into their box and then blame them for not being able to lead them in the first place.

But it is worth remembering where our problems initially begin. …with ourselves. Often times we view the problem from the wrong lens. We see a lack of commitment, motivation, trust, accountability or engagement, troublemaking, conflict, stress, poor teamwork, backbiting/bad attitudes, misalignment of goals and poor communication. We only see our justified view rather than the central problem.

This process of being in the box and forcing others to enter their own box exacerbates the issue. But you may ask, "How do I get out of the box and assist others out of their own respective boxes in order to lead?"

The pivotal issue is to realize what doesn't work in the box: namely, trying to change others and do my best to "cope" with others; leaving; communicating; implementing new skills or techniques; and changing ourselves. Once you are in the box and are self-deceived from doing the correct thing in the first place, the items aforementioned are only viewed as thinly-veiled attempts to manipulate others.

A prevalent belief is that we can lead by telling others what to do. The opposite is quite true: we lead by inspiring others, sharing and implementing a common vision, and giving our direct reports the tools and education to succeed and even sometimes fail on the job. The failures are crucible moments that allow the leader(s) to bring forth teachable moments of what went wrong and then having the group review and offer suggestions on how to best handle the same issue in the future. Given the directive of this article to remain outside the box and to prevent others from entering their own, how then do we lead from this perspective?

The Arbinger Institute offers the following advice in leading others with out of the box strategies, these include: 1. Self-betrayal leads to self-deception and "the box." 2. When you are in the box, you can't focus on results. 3. Your influence and success will depend on being out of the box. 4.You get out of the box as you cease resisting other people.

Consequently, to be out of the box leaders we need to live the material: 1. Do not try to be perfect. Do try to be better. 2. Don't look for other people's boxes; rather look for your own. 3. Don't accuse others of being in the box. 4. Don't focus on what others are doing wrong, but focus on what you can do right to help others with whom you lead. 5. Stay out of the box as much as possible, and if you get in remember to get out.

The analogy of being in the box or out of the box is used to assist you in how you see yourself and others. Suspend judgment of those you lead in the organization and attempt to assist in creating opportunities of growth, empowerment, and teamwork. Organizations fail when we place ourselves in the box of self-betrayal and self-deception ensues.

Recognizing the central theme that organizations are organic, changing, evolving,and adapting, we need to build up others rather than resist them. We need to grow rather than decline. And finally, we need to know who we are by being out of the box. Success of your leadership and organization depends on tearing boxes down rather than building more of them.