I have an experiment for you this week.
Listen to the words you speak.
Listen to what comes out of your mouth when you talk to your spouse or partner, your children, your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, even your pet.
What is the content of your conversations? What do you talk about? Who do you talk about, and how? And why do you talk about them? Do you talk about certain people in different ways than you talk about others?
What is the tone of your conversations?
Are your conversations positive, loving and hope-filled? Or are they negative, critical and destructive?
Do they seek to find the good in others, or do they seek to destroy? Why?
This includes the words you write on social media, too.
Be mindful of these questions, and take notes to see if you notice a pattern.
There is a second part to this experiment.
Listen to the running commentary that goes through your head, when you are alone, and when you are in public. The words you don’t speak or write.
How does this commentary sound?
How do you talk to yourself? How do you talk about others to yourself, in the privacy of your own consciousness?
How is it similar or different to the words you speak aloud in public?
Again, take notes on what you notice, and any patterns that might be there.
The late spiritual writer Henri Nouwen rightly said we live in a “wordy world.”
Most of the time we are so busy and caught up in our work or other mind-numbing activities, we don’t even realize how inundated we are with words.
Even when we are alone and relatively “quiet.”
It isn’t a crime to be wordy. If it were, I wouldn’t have a job, and you wouldn’t be reading this right now.
What matters is what words we use, and how we use them.
Because words, spoken or unspoken, written or not, have energy. Powerful energy.
Writers and speakers know this, and use this reality to influence others.
When we are unaware of the flavor of the thousands of words that go through our minds, hearts and lips every day, we are then unconscious of just what kind of impact we have on the world around us.
How do we use our words? Do we use them to create or to destroy? Do we taste them before they come out of our mouths, considering what kind of ripples they will affect in the world?
Because they do create ripples. Good or bad, they all create ripples. Sometimes, even waves. And occasionally, folks drown in those waves caused by the words that have come out of our mouths, or our fingers. In some of the worst cases, young children have taken their own lives because of the careless words used by classmates to or about them.
All of us have used our words for good and for bad, for better or for worse.
None of us have spoken all positive words, and none of us have spoken all negative words, either to ourselves, or to or about others.
But when we make it a point to notice our words, and where they come from – a happy place, or a not-so-happy place – we can start to ask ourselves why we speak or think the way we do.
What feelings, thoughts and emotions lie underneath the words we use toward ourselves and toward others?
Are we genuinely happy for ourselves and others, or concerned for their welfare? Or are we unhappy with ourselves and others, and perhaps even unconsciously, use our words to tear ourselves or others down?
Why do we do that?
Are we insecure? Jealous? Frustrated? Angry? Afraid? Selfish? Unforgiving? Resentful? Arrogant? Conceited?
Why do we do that?
It is called being self-aware, and being self-aware is not a bad thing when it helps you to monitor your behavior and strive to be a better person.
Becoming self-aware isn’t a once and done endeavor, either. It is a life-long process, one that, if taken intentionally to understand ourselves and why we do the things we do, can yield fruitful harvests for ourselves and for the people we walk with on this planet.
Being self-aware can make us better people.
Why not be aware of yourself, your words and actions?
Why not listen, and then seek to change your harmful words and behaviors?
Why not be a better person?
- SPIRIT MATTERS is a weekly column that examines spirituality. Contact Jerrilyn Zavada at jzblue33@yahoo.com to share how you engage your spirit in your life and community.