ELGIN – Grief and sadness found a voice of hope Tuesday night in a remembrance ceremony for Overdose Awareness Day at Ecker Center for Behavioral Health in Elgin.

About 40 people attended the event in which names of loved ones lost to drug overdoses were read aloud and guests spoke of the need for second chances – or 20th chances – for someone afflicted with a substance abuse disorder to get sober.

While some of the searing heat and humidity of late summer had dissipated, a misting rain came with the gathering twilight as the ceremony progressed.

Ecker employee Jennifer Flory spoke of losing her daughter Alison in 2016 to an overdose of cocaine laced with the synthetic opioid carfentanyl, a derivative of fentanyl.

“She was seeking treatment for her addiction at the time,” Flory said.

“Since her death, I have become involved in many ways to help spread awareness – not only of overdose – but of the way substance use can be dangerous to anyone from any walk of life,” Flory said.

“Many people think of overdoses as an outcome for someone with years of substance abuse. However, with the fact that fentanyl is added to all kinds of drugs, not just opioids, and with fake pills so easily accessible to our youth today, an overdose or poisoning can happen the first time someone uses a drug,” Flory said.

Flory urged getting rid of the stigma related to drug-related deaths, and drug use in general.

“Nobody picks up a drug and wants to throw their life away,” Flory said. “Nobody picks up a drug and wants to hurt their families. Nobody picks up a drug and wants to die.”

‘Another chance’

Another speaker, who gave only her first name, Melissa, said she was a recovering heroin addict, who started using when she was 13 and became an addict at 17.

“For the next 15 years, I was in and out of treatment 10 times, I was in and out of jail seven times,” Melissa said. “Each time was another chance to start over and try again. I failed all 17 times. There were endless consequences for myself and everyone I loved. I lost more and more as my addiction continued.”

She said she became a homeless heroin addict, panhandling, walking the streets and living in abandoned houses.

“An early death seemed to be my future. Then I was given something we all deserve – which is another chance,” Melissa said. “My exhausted parents decided to give me another chance. I came home, detoxed, and found a Heroin Anonymous meeting.”

She got a sponsor and worked the steps.

“I had to learn patience – first and foremost – because life on life’s terms does not involve the instant gratification that drugs offers,” Melissa said. “I have now been completely free and sober for three years and nine months.”

She has a new car, a job she loves, she rebuilt trust with her family and her estranged son reached out to her recently after a dozen years of no contact, “and I was sober and ready to be honest with him and be there for him.”

“There is always hope,” Melissa said. “The number of chances is not important. What’s important is that we give that mother or father, sister or brother, son or daughter another chance. No matter how many times you try and fail, there is always hope.”

Elmhurst resident Jay Webb, a recovering alcoholic for the past 15 years, said he works as an interventionist and sober companion coach, assisting others suffering from addiction and their families.

“I do 12-step work, and got involved in sober escorting and sober companion work, which is taking individuals from their homes after they have agreed to treatment,” Webb said. “Companion work is similar, in that I go home with clients and stay with them for a couple weeks afterward, getting them in the programs and doctor’s appointments.”

Three years ago, he got involved with intervention work, but his focus that night was the stigma of addiction.

“If you want to see stigma, try and put a sober home in a high-end part of town,” Webb said.

Webb said the federal Fair Housing Act – which considers those in recovery to be disabled – led to them winning zoning approval.

‘Mom, I promise’

Jennifer, a recovering alcoholic, identified by her first name, said she also lost her son 2014 to a heroin overdose after seven times in rehab.

“Back then, there was a huge stigma. You didn’t tell the neighbors. You didn’t talk about it,” Jennifer said.

She sent her son to a place in Texas and right before he left, she said to him, “‘Why are you doing this to me?’ I didn’t understand addiction or any kind of recovery. ‘Mom, I promise I’m going to get it.’ He got it for 28 days. They put him into the halfway house and he used the very next day. ... They found him with a needle in his arm.”

Jennifer said she was so grief stricken, she became addicted to alcohol. After a stint at the DuPage County jail, she found a 12-step program.

“We need to stop the stigma,” Jennifer said, sobbing. “I did not intend to be an addict.”

Wiping away tears, Vanessa Miller of Woodstock, a recovering heroin addict, said she came to the remembrance because she lost her boyfriend June 28 to a heroin overdose.

“I have been clean for eight years and I blame myself that I didn’t see the signs,” Miller said, of her boyfriend’s death.