To me, it’s like getting a hard punch in the gut.
When ominous possibilities become a life-changing reality.
At one point or another, we all are on the receiving end of that punch. Some folks get hit numerous times in their lives. (On a side note, it’s important to remember each gut punch is different. What’s a gut punch to one might not be considered so by another. But comparing the gravity of our gut punches with others does no one any good.)
Whether it’s the death of a loved one, a sudden job loss, a serious illness or accident, a divorce or any number of other life tragedies, we never truly are prepared for it or its ramifications.
I got my first good, hard gut punch in July 1989, when my cousin died unexpectedly and unnecessarily when I was 17 and he was 12. Although I came to terms with that stark reality long ago, it has now been 34 years, and my daily life choices and worldview were irrevocably influenced by that one phone call.
There have been other momentous shake-ups through the years: an unexpected hospitalization for a health crisis, layoffs due to a medical practice closure and downsizing, watching my dad’s health deteriorate daily over the course of a year, and being at his bedside when he took his final breath … not to mention the shocking reports of other loved ones who have died suddenly and unexpectedly.
It would be nice if we could get through life without these situations rocking our world.
But unless you live in Candyland, you know that’s not possible.
We can choose, however, how we navigate sudden upheavals to our daily routines.
Generally, when I learn of any severe life change, I initially feel numb. I think many of us do. All of a sudden, the reality we knew five minutes before is no longer real, and we have no idea what the future holds, just that it will be nothing like we have previously known.
Once the shock dissipates, I am prone to feeling alone and helpless – like I have to figure it all out by myself. And, by nature, it’s difficult for me to ask for help.
But thanks to previous life experiences, I have learned what John Donne said is true: “No man is an island.”
We are not designed to get through any of these things alone and without help, much less feeling that way.
When I look back over some of the darker times in my life, I can see there were always people there reaching out to help me, even if I didn’t realize it at the time.
And, in those times when something was stirring violently inside of me, it was only when I reached out to others and expressed what was going on that things began to improve.
The main lesson I have learned by trial and error, though, is that what Jesus said in Matthew 28:20, and what was on the wall of an examination room I was in this week, is true.
“Behold, I am with you always.”
Knowing that reality from my other forays into the unknown reminds me to take life, and all of its challenges, one step, one breath at a time.
And to enjoy the pervasive beauty of it all along the way.
SPIRIT MATTERS is a weekly column that examines experiences common to the human spirit. Contact Jerrilyn Zavada Novak at jzblue33@yahoo.com to share how you engage your spirit in your life and community.