Spirit Matters: Death doesn’t get the last word

My cousin Chris has been gone now for nearly 34 years.

But after all these years of his physical absence, his presence in my heart is far more expansive than was possible when he was here among us.

I heard his voice for possibly the first time since then one day this week.

Not audibly, but it was him.

His voice sounded just as I remembered it, when we were kids, not awfully long before he died at the tender age of 12.

I should note I have had many dreams with Chris in them over the years, but his presence in those dreams has always been a bit cloudy, and most often, he is quiet, yet communicative.

In my memory, Chris – who would have been a STEM junkie in today’s world – was ribbing my youngest brother for only being interested in sports. The Cubs and the Bears, to be specific.

At the time Chris spoke those words, we all laughed. He had, in a matter-of-fact way, nailed it. In my memory, I could hear him saying these words, as though he said them yesterday.

Not much has changed since that scene. My youngest brother still is a sports junkie. That is who he is, and we love him for it, along with his funny and excitable personality.

I also felt Chris nearby, sort of.

I say sort of, because it was a nontangible, fleeting experience that lasted a few seconds.

I was lying in bed, and I felt an awareness he, and a few other deceased loved ones were in the room.

Maybe it was my imagination.

I believe it wasn’t.

Because, even if in that moment, what my awareness was telling me wasn’t, in fact, real, my faith tells me there is a “cloud of witnesses,” ever-near, ever-present, ever-encouraging those of us still here, walking this Earth in human form.

This wasn’t the first time I felt one or more deceased loved ones were near.

When I lived with my mother in my childhood home, where my dad was born and raised along with his family, who are all now deceased, I had similar experiences.

And I have also felt passed friends in similar fleeting ways.

And I know that I am not alone in this.

I am confident many people reading this column know exactly the kind of thing I am talking about, from their own lives.

I believe those who have gone before us often let us know they are still with us, in ways that resonate uniquely with us, that bring us a sense of peace and calm.

When we try to share with others the details of these experiences, they often look at us like we have lost our minds.

The only proof we have is that sense of knowing in our hearts.

And, actually, that is the only proof that really matters.

That sense of knowing, in our hearts.

Through the years, when I have felt loved ones near, I have tried not to hold on to these experiences. I allow them to come and go. Because if they are real, they should compel us to grow stronger in our faith, and to share that faith with others.

Jesus modeled the same, in Mary Magdalene’s personal encounter with him near his tomb, shortly after his resurrection, in the 20th chapter of the Gospel of John.

“ … she turned around, and beheld Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?’ Supposing Him to be the gardener, she said to Him, ‘Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him, and I will take Him away.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Mary!’ She turned and said to Him in Hebrew, ‘Rabboni!’ (which means, Teacher). Jesus said to her, ‘Stop clinging to Me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to My brethren, and say to them, ‘I am ascending to My Father and your Father, and My God and your God.’”

In 1 Corinthians, St. Paul writes:

“For this perishable must put on the imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality. But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, ‘DEATH IS SWALLOWED UP in victory. O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?’”

Indeed, Death.

Where is your victory? Where is your sting?

SPIRIT MATTERS is a weekly column that examines experiences common to the human spirit. Contact Jerrilyn Zavada Novak at jzblue33@yahoo.com to share how you engage your spirit in your life and community.