Here is a secret our mainstream society doesn’t want you to know, and one by which some will be offended.
It is OK to desire a simple life.
It is OK to rest, to take the time you need to nourish your body, mind and spirit.
It is OK to be true to your own needs, despite the criticism you will endure.
I was raised with a strong work ethic, and it has driven me in every job I have been fortunate to work.
Sometimes to the point of literal, long-term exhaustion.
Both of my parents modeled this work ethic in many ways.
I witnessed my mom raising six kids, while working an outside job, and in her “spare time” doing various big jobs around and outside the house. She literally did not stop from the time she got up in the morning until the time she went to bed. Having been raised on a farm, that is the only way she knew.
My dad worked a full-time job in a factory, and I can only imagine what it felt like to come home at the end of the day to a houseful of noise and chaos, and still have things to do there. He was often grouchy when he came home. And, as much as he sincerely loved us, he usually just needed to unwind for the rest of the evening, without outside distractions from us. I could never understand why.
Now I do. Because my dad and I were similar in many ways.
All of us kids had random jobs from an early age: paper routes, housecleaning, bean walking, babysitting, lawn mowing, shoveling neighbors’ drive ways. The list goes on.
When we were 16 years old, we were expected to get a legitimate part-time job to help pay our expenses. (That is not a bad thing, by the way).
My first real job was at McDonald’s. While others could easily handle successive late night and early morning shifts, I could not, although I was often scheduled for them. My sleep and my academics suffered.
As time went on, and I worked various jobs, I quickly learned my own limits, and yet, I pushed forward, because it was what I was supposed to do. It is what I had to do.
After some years of working full time at State Farm, I reduced my hours to part time, while I went to school. This one change made a significant difference on my morale and in my life. I was still supporting myself and living on my own, but I now had some breathing space.
When I worked full time in the office at a camp for people with special needs, I was not prepared for what that job would require. Since I worked for a not-for-profit, my duties extended far beyond typical office duties, and included assisting with fundraising, leading large volunteer groups, event set up, and even cooking in the dining hall.
I never really did learn how to balance my life while I worked there, because I told myself this is what you have to do, you have to give of yourself for the sake of others, even when it is not comfortable.
Eventually, all that overdrive landed me in the hospital. Yes, we were doing good work, but there is work each of us is designed to do, and not all of us are designed to serve our neighbors in outward, extroverted ways.
Later, when I worked for the newspaper, I worked odd hours to cover assignments, and was essentially on call all the time. If something major happens, you have to drop everything you are doing and go cover it, often in emotionally-charged circumstances. It doesn’t take long to burn out. Toward the end of my time in that role, I was exhausted in so many ways, I couldn’t give what I needed to give to fulfill my duties.
This is how I experienced these situations. Obviously, others would be able to handle all of this with no problem, because they are designed to do different work than I am. And that is OK.
Our bodies aren’t designed to be in a constant state of fight-or-flight. Sooner or later, something has to give, and much of the time, it is our physical and mental health and wellbeing that suffer.
Lately, I’ve been noticing a higher number of obituaries in an area newspaper of people not too much older than me, and that frightens me. I feel like I haven’t even begun to live my life, and yet so many are dying young … literally and figuratively. I want to live that life, while I am still alive.
The COVID pandemic made many rethink how they want to work.
It’s not that I don’t want to work.
It’s that I want to do the work I was born to do, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
My best work is done in a creative environment that seeks to boost the soul and spirit.
Just with this column, my work has had a far greater and broader impact than everything else I have done combined.
That makes me happy, and it gives me the deep satisfaction you get when you know you are doing what you were born to do.
And this IS the work I was born to do.
- SPIRIT MATTERS is a weekly column that examines experiences common to the human spirit. Contact Jerrilyn Zavada at jzblue33@yahoo.com to share how you engage your spirit in your life and community.