This past week has been that annual liminal time when many reflect on the year about to end.
In the social media age, it is common to get some insight into how others lives are going, just by them sharing simple posts about how they are happy to see the year end, and hoping for a better one next year.
All can relate to the feeling of wanting to slam the door on a year and its events. In my own recent memory, 2020 was one of those years for me. Despite having opened my bookstore in Streator, which was a lifelong dream, the coronavirus pandemic descended on the planet, pretty much stopping life as we knew it, and the news and social media were filled with negativity and vitriol on every level. It was psychologically, emotionally and spiritually exhausting for me.
I believe taking stock of where we’ve been and what we’ve done is a good thing. As painful as some of the memories might be, there is never a year that passes when something good has not happened in our lives.
These daily good things often get overshadowed by dramatic events like the illness or death of a close family member or friend; the loss of a job; the breakup of a relationship or any number of things.
This is why having a daily gratitude practice is so powerful. It is hard to be overwhelmed by life’s ugly circumstances when we daily remind ourselves of all for which we can be grateful. And yes, even some of our darkest moments and experiences are lined with good. Gratitude is also an excellent way to deepen one’s faith, as it does not take long to see how our lives are held and cared for to the extent that “even the number of hairs on our heads are counted.”
When I was a young adult, I wrote in my journal at the end of the year what had happened in my life in the previous 365 days. I wanted to have a record to look back on when I got older to see in black and white things I would have long forgotten.
Sadly, I threw all that personal history into oblivion not too many years ago when I dumped all my journals into the garbage. (Word of advice: no matter how much you want to let go of the past, or simply declutter, there are some things you should never do. One of these things is to destroy everything you have ever written about your life thus far. Just not a good idea. Especially if you happen to be a writer.)
Even as I did this annual yearly scan, there were some years I can remember now that were extremely negative years for me.
The year 1997 was one of them. I remember at the time being in despair my life was never going to change, and I would always be in the situation I was in at the time. The thing is, now I have no idea the exact details of my daily life then, but at the time daily life was excruciating. I do remember, however, in January 1998, I reduced my work status from full-time to part-time at State Farm, so I could return to school part-time. And that step was a huge one forward for me. A new door had opened, with exciting possibilities.
Throughout our lives, we have “good” years, and we have “bad” years. There is no denying some years are hell to experience, and yet, why do we spend so much time lamenting those years that are filled with negative experiences, but don’t spend an equal amount of time or more expressing gratitude for years filled with gifts and breakthroughs?
Just something to ponder this weekend.
- SPIRIT MATTERS is a weekly column that examines experiences common to the human spirit. Contact Jerrilyn Zavada at jzblue33@yahoo.com to share how you engage your spirit in your life and community.